P3 Abridged : Pity the Fool
by Nightlyy
Summary: Everyone has a gimmick. Nothing is the same anymore. Can a group of quirky high school students stand up and face their enemies? Or do they just don't care at all? Minato x Harem. Co written by Raidou The 16th.
1. Chapter 1

The train lurched forward, and the sleeping blunette ended up slamming his head on what seemed to be a really pretty blue butterfly.

He sat up straight again, and fixed his unnecessarily long fringe. And finally, his name was Minato Arisato.

"..." Minato stared lifelessly at the crushed remains of the poor bug. "I am a danger to everything around me..." He bit back the tears and ended up curling against the seat. "Woe is me..."

"Iwatodai. We have reached Iwatodai," The PA system let the still curled up teeanger know.

"Iwatodai," Minato repeated. "I lost my parents here... my life, my soul and my heart... everything ended in Iwatodai for me." He shut his eyes and held onto his seat.

"Get off the freaking train kid, next up is the Red Light district," The PA system blared once again.

"I went to a red light district once... and I am still dying a virgin," Minato said sadly.

He finally got up from his seat and painfully staggered out of the train. The station was bustling with people, everyone of them were gossiping or doing something important, unlike our protagonist.

"Ah people," Minato sighed. "Such a busy place..." His shoulders slumped. More than usual. "Life's thread is so thin... it could break under the most insignificant of pressures..." Just as Minato said that, the world around him shifted. His mp3 player shut off, the moon took a sickly yellow color, his surroundings went green and lastly the people turned into coffins.

Minato was taken by surprise. "HOLY SHIT! THEY ACTUALLY DIED!" He cried. He took a step back and placed his hand on his chest.

"Oh... please, don't abandon me like all those I cared about..." He was talking to his heart.

"Wait," Minato blinked. "This has happened before for sure..."

"Isn't it uberly stupid that I'm suddenly taking it seriously now?" He sighed. "Well... dead people and blood, this hour suits me. Looks like the perfects depiction of the scenery within my twisted heart..."

He pulled out a pamphlet which had several pictures drawn on it.

"So, I go from the little bleeding knife to cracked heart..." Minato noted and began making his towards the dorm that he was temporary staying in.

He purposely stepped on every puddle of blood and gave a sad sigh every time for some strange reason.

Finally, he stopped right in front of the dorm. It was fairly tall and well built, about 4 stories long.

"No chance of survival if someone drops from there... a sad demise..." Minato pointed out. He pushed the door open and took a step into what seemed to be the lounge. The lights were off and the only thing that was illuminating the place was the moonlight.

"Over here, you cyclops! Oh no, wait, that's just your fringe," Minato turned his head ever so slowly towards the source of the voice. It was a kid who radiated smartass-ness, he had large blue eyes and was sporting a prison uniform. His lips were stretched into an all knowing smirk.

Minato stared at the kid for more than a minute before declaring. "It's okay to be jailbird nowadays kid."

"I am your warden," The kid giggled.

"I am a prisoner," Minato nodded. "My body is my holding ce-" He was cut off by the enigmatic child once again.

"Anyway, can you write? Sign the damn contract," He said flatly, thrusting the contract he was holding into Minato's hand.

Minato sighed. "Sure, anything to make you happy, jailbird," He opened it up and wrote his name cleanly, along with a broken heart at the end. He handed it back to the blue eyed kid who end up sniggering.

"Dumbass," The kid vanished away with a trace.

"Yes, leave me alone why don't you... I'll just be here, hoping," Minato said sadly.

"Rapists! Show yourselves!" Minato turned around to face another voice, and this time it was feminine.

"Rapist?" Minato looked at his shoes. "Despicable people they are... though I deserve to go to Hell more than they do... actually, my life is already a Hell..." Several footsteps later, Minato ended face to face with a rather cute brunette. She had pink sweater on, and a skirt which was shorter than her hair.

Oh, and she was pointing a gun at Minato.

"Have you come to put me out of the misery I call life?" Minato asked.

"I knew you came for me, you won't be able to touch me, pervert!" The brunette yelled.

"..." Minato sized her up from head to toe.

"What, weirdo?" The girl questioned.

"You're not even that hot," Minato said bluntly.

A tense silence prevailed in the room.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you!" The girl actually charged at Minato who gasped and took a step back.

"Takeba, I command that you stop," Yet another voice welcomed Minato's ears.

"See? Just that voice alone was hotter than you," Minato mumbled.

Just as he said that, the lights came back on. His mp3 player began blasting music once again and the he could finally see the two girls clearly.

The other girl was a really hot redhead who seemed to be an year older than him. Not that Minato cared, nobody would want an emo like him anyway. At least that was what he thought.

"I'm still gonna fucking kill him!" Takeba growled at Mitsuru.

"Welcome to my dorm. My name is Mitsuru Kirijo. Did you hear that? Ki-ri-jo," The redhead spoke, ignoring Takeba and putting extra emphasis on the Kirijo. "My family is one of the richest in the world, and we own this island."

Minato blinked.

"Room ple-" Minato tried to speak but Mitsuru interrupted him.

"Oh, and we own you too, technically," She shrugged.

"Right. Anyway my roo-"

"That uniform is ours too," Mitsuru barged in once again.

Minato deadpanned at his senior this time.

"Okay. Can I visit my room that YOU own?"

Mitsuru seemed pleased. "Yes, since you realized your place in this world, I shall give you the room for free. Anyway, this is Yukari "less important than me" Takeba," She pointed at the brunette who was still fuming. "She's not as rich as me, well not even close but she's the same year as you. Oh, and nobody in the second year has more money than me."

"Hi." Minato waved at Takeba.

"I hate you," Yukari snarled at the new transfer student.

"I get that a lot," Minato said sadly as he lowered his hand. "Anyway, why do you have a gun?" Actually, who let Yukari near a gun?

The two panicked this time. Yukari hid her gun behind her back and Mitsuru began. "Oh, it's not real. The Kirijo group made it just to scare burglars away. Oh and it is made up of diamonds, like this." Mitsuru said, flashing the diamond ring in her finger for all to see.

Minato thought for a while. Wouldn't it work better if the gun wasn't made of something burglars actually wanted to steal? And wouldn't it work even better if the gun actually worked?

He shrugged the thought aside. She had probably paid the burglars to abide by her logic.

"Okay, cool. Now room, please," Minato deadpanned again.

"Takeba, please take him to his room which I own," Mitsuru looked at Yukari who nodded and grabbed Minato by his collar.

"Sure, senpai," She dragged the protagonist away, and both of them went up the stairs.

"I'll let you know that I'm really popular in school. Men want me, and bitches want to be like," Yukari continued ranting about how hot and popular she was.

Not that Minato was paying it any attention.

The two ended up stopping on the last room on the 2nd floor. Yukari let go of his collar and spoke stiffly. "Anyway, this is your room. I don't like you or anything nor do I have any concern for you... I still wanna kill you. But did you see anything weird when coming over here?"

"Oh yeah, like the blood, the coffins, the yellow moon, the smartass jailbird kid and the crazy bitch who held a diamond fake gun to my head? Yeah, surely saw something weird." He said.

"... seemed like Iwatodai itself had a period," Minato nodded sagely as he mused aloud.

"... Idiot," Yukari spat at the blue haired protagonist and walked away.

Minato sighed and opened the door to his room. Nobody liked him.

Not taking off his uniform which he had donned for absolutely no reason at all, Minato staggered towards the comfortable bed and collapsed onto it.

"First day back, and everybody already hates me..." He sniffed.

* * *

**Test fic. Inspired by TFS. Tell us what you think. Everyone has a hilarious gimmick going on and there will be recurring gags in the story, which will be very different from the original. You'll see what I mean in the next chapter. Like always, review and tell us what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

Minato opened his eyes slowly and almost dramatically, almost hoping something would happen and his eyes would remain closed forever.

... Nothing happened.

"Aww shit, I'm still alive," The protagonist sighed and bashed his head onto the bed. A morning ritual for him.

He wearily stood up and made his way towards the mirror. He ended up face to face with his reflection. "You look like shit as usual..." He then grabbed a comb and started fixing his fringe.

After that, Minato staggered towards his closet and dug out his school uniform. He sniffed his clothes and hung his head low. "Smells just like dad..."

And so began another day in the live of Minato Arisato.

Minato was curled up on his bed when someone knocked on his door. "You awake, moron?"

Minato mumbled something into his pillow but of course Yukari couldn't hear it.

"Get your emo ass up," Yukari thundered.

Minato let out a sad sigh and hugged his pillow tightly. He still didn't respond.

This time, Yukari didn't ask. She kicked the door to his room open and fixed her brown eyes onto Minato, and promptly began lashing out at the saddened teenager.

"Look, I know you suck, you know you suck, everyone knows you suck," Yukari spat. "But get the Hell up, I don't wanna miss school because of you. If I do, I'll lose a small fraction of my perfect student charm. AND I'M NOT GONNA LET A STUPID VIRGIN LIKE YOU RUIN MY PERFECT IMAGE!"

Normally, any sane guy would blush if he was in Minato's position, since all he was wearing was nothing but a sleeveless t-shirt and boxers. And any sane girl would charge out of the room, but frankly, does it look like any of those two are sane?

Minato slowly stood up and nodded dumbly. "I understand. I'm damaged damaged beyond repair, but you... you can still... enjoy life, unlike me..."

"Idiot," Yukari spat, crossing her arms. "Get dressed. Don't know why senpai made me babysit a moron like you." She glared at the protagonist now. "You better sleep like a bitch during that hour, capiche?"

"I don't sleep... I just drift from one nightmare to another," Minato explained with a heavy heart.

"On my Godly beauty, I swear you are one annoying little sucker," Yukari sneered and turned on her heels. She was about to walk away until Minato spoke.

"You kinda saw me naked, and-"

Yukari turned around and thundered at him. "You have a vagina! It doesn't matter anyway!" With that, she stormed out of his room.

Silence...

Minato curled up again. "It's alright Minato," He consoled himself. "She doesn't have any intention of finding out whatsoever" He sniffed.

After a fairly uneventful train ride, morning assembly and a few classes, the first day of school finally ended for Minato. The bell rang and the students started gossiping, some of them leaving for home and stuff like that. Minato however, was in the exact same position for almost the whole school day, which was: His head buried into his arms on the desk.

"Everyone hates me," he took a petal of the Sunflower. "Everyone hates me not," another petal. "Everyone hates m- Ah, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course they hate me," Minato sighed sadly and ripped the Sunflower apart. "Don't worry about me dear fellows, I hope you all have a fantastic life, unlike me..."

"This new guy totally sucks," Said one of the students.

"Point proven..." Minato replied in a split second.

Minato didn't move for the next 10 minutes, and he was only shaken away from his self pitying when someone was kind enough to...

Hit on him.

"Hello there, miss," Minato cringed.

Was Yukari actually telling the truth? Was he really something in between the two genders. Was he some kind of repulsive creature that deserved to be burned on a pike?

Who was he kidding... he was already a repulsive creature without being a hermaphrodite.

"May I have the pleasure of knowing your beautiful name?" The dude with a baseball cap and a slight goatee kept thinking he was hitting on a cute blue haired lass, and slowly, Minato himself was believing that.

Minato slowly raised his head up to face the guy. "I'm on the verge of being a gender confused wolf."

"Ah shit, you're a guy!" The capped teenager gritted his teeth, shooting venomous glare. "Wait, you do look like a girl, sort of.."

"Will you love me if I'm a girl?" Minato said hopefully.

The capped teen nearly barfed. "Hell no, you ain't got dem curves, but since you don't look like a male, I guess I'll talk to you. I'm Junpei Iori, what's your sorry excuse for a name?"

Someone introduced themselves to Minato without hostility. This was a special day in his life. tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm Minato Arisato," He replied with a quivery voice, and shot out from his seat to hug Junpei.

"... The fuck are you doing?" Junpei asked, unable to move because of Minato's vicious grip.

"I am hugging you. Isn't this what people do when they're friends?" Minato asked hopefully.

"It's what people do when they like each other, and I don't swing that way. And when I say 'I don't swing that way', I mean 'I'm not even your friend'." Junpei said as he shrugged.

Minato let go of Junpei with tears in his eyes. "At least you don't hate me?"

"Treading close to that line, mate," Junpei responded. "Hey, Yuka-tan! Can you believe this loser?" Junpei called out to Yukari, who was talking to her class friends.

"... and then, I told him: 'We should totally turn this into an Olympics sport... because you just broke the world speed record'!'- What do you want, Junpei, I'm fucking busy with people more important than you!"

"But you don't even know their names!" Junpei exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Yukari yelled from where she was sat.

Junpei was at a loss for words, as Yukari turned back to her conversation.

"No problem, I'll wait for you, for however long it takes," Junpei said, sitting on Minato's desk.

After another 10 minutes, Yukari looked around the homeroom. There was no else, and so she made her way towards the two males.

"'Sup, emo?" Yukari sneered at Minato.

"I know, right?" Junpei laughed along with Yukari, placing his arm around Yukari who wasn't bothered since she was laughing at Minato.

"How are you? Better than me, I hope," Minato asked.

"That is obvious. I mean, look at me, I'm the diva of this school," Yukari proclaimed proudly. Junpei slowly and steady brought his hand down her back, giggling like a child while doing so. "Boys would kill for just a flock of my hair."

"... You're not even that hot," Minato repeated.

Another tense silence prevailed.

Yukari was so taken aback by his answer, that she didn't realize that Junpei's hand was extremely close to her ass. Junpei was glad that Minato was holding Yukari off, he would not thank a guy out loud but he was glad.

"Junpei," Yukari said, making Junpei pull his hand back with a inaudible cuss. "This boy needs a good kick in his vagina." Yukari could feel her sassy chick persona leveling up just by saying something so edgy and rough.

Oh yeah, it pumped Yukari up.

"He's a dude," Junpei growled at poor Minato who turned his head away in sadness.

"He still has one!" Yukari insisted.

"HE DOES!?" Junpei looked over to Minato with a grin and renewed interest. "Minato, old buddy old pal, we really need to hit up some cool places in Iwatodai, I'll show you around."

"For fuck's sake!" Yukari put extra emphasis on 'FUCK'. People loved cuss words.

"He's a guy and has no vagina, I was just taunting him, you filthy queer!"

Junpei pulled his hand back from Minato's shoulder with a look of disgust and Minato's somewhat happy smile faded into his usual sad face.

"OH EM GEE, you two are a bunch of sad virgins," Yukari laughed condescendingly. "I can't believe it, both of you are emo losers."

Minato blinked.

"... Does that mean you've slept with loads of guys? That kinda makes you a slut," Minato pointed out and looked determinedly in Yukari's eyes who was fuming with rage.

"Always use safety measure, I don't want someone so young to end up with an STD," Minato said with concern. "Stop whoring around, please, you'll rise up as a new woman: better and stronger than ever."

"... Fuck you," Yukari said through clenched teeth.

"Why him?" Junpei protested.

"I don't wanna die with an STD, I wanna do something that helps people before dying," Minato said with determination again. He stood up. "Farewell dear fellows, remember, be happy and don't turn out like me..." With that, Minato sniffed and staggered out of the homeroom, leaving both of them speechless.

...

Minato made his way towards the dorm. He stepped into the lounge and was welcomed by Yukari.

"Get over here, asshole," Yukari demanded.

Minato walked over towards the couches where along with Yukari, someone else was sitting there. It was a middle aged man with a long brown hair and a goatee. He was clad in a brown suit, along with squared glasses.

Minato looked sadly at Yukari. "I thought I told you to say no to unprotected sex..."

Yukari's eyes flashed red.

She tackled Minato onto the couch and brought her hands near his neck. "That's it, laugh now pretty boy," She snarled with a distorted voice, choking Minato out.

Minato however was as sad and depressed as ever, even though Yukari was really choking him hard and his face was turning into the same color as his hair. His look was a complete dead one and it scared the red outta Yukari's eyes.

The brunette jumped back and gasped. "What the hell are you?"

Unknowingly, those words caused Minato more pain.

Was he really that despicable? Trying his best to shrug her hateful comments away, Minato turned to the grown up who wasn't really affected by what was going on.

"May I help you, kind sir?" Minato asked, bowing slightly, and wiping the single tear rolling down his cheek.

"Please, refer to me as Prince Ikutsuki," The now known Ikutsuki said softly, like was really some prince from a faraway land.

"... Please, don't delude yourself. It makes you daydream, while ignoring everything important that is happening in reality, and no offense meant, you don't look like a prince at all. I mean, c'mon, where's your crown?"

Minato gulped. That was thee obscure reference. "However, work hard and you might just be promoted to the prince's janitor. There is always hope for you, unlike me."

Ikutsuki's smile faded.

Minato was even more saddened. "I am terribly sorry."

After a few more tears, Minato apologized and went back to his room with a heavy heart. "What am I... some kind of monster...?" He wondered, crashing onto his bed and drifting to sleep.

A few mindscrews and seizure procedures later, Minato opened his eyes slowly and was greeted by blue. Lots and lots of blue, oh and three people as well... actually, two humans one one hobbit sitting across the table.

Okay, maybe the mindscrews were not really over.

Minato noted that he was in some sort of elevator. And the music, it was so soothing...

Minato yawned.

"Welcome to Hell!" The hobbit welcomed Minato with excitement. Minato was a little freaked out by his appearance. A huge nose, bloodshot eyes and a gentleman suit, but dammit, he was really sleepy to care. He looked over to observe the other two.

One was a female with platinum blond hair and golden eyes, and Minato was sure he could never score with someone like her. Case closed. He looked to the side and saw a young man with the exact same features as the girl. Well, except the curves and... you know. He would never add Minato on MySpace.

Yes, MySpace. An anti social network that fit Minato perfectly.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" The hobbit asked.

"I had an episode of..." Minato yawned again. "Uncertainty but I've come to terms, I am a male."

"Splendid, my name is Mega Elf Igor, or just Igor for short, and this is the blue light district," Igor welcomed Minato, who was seriously about to doze off.

"Sir, this is the Velvet Room," The male sighed. "He's our guest."

"..." Igor pointed at the female. "So, Margaret won't be giving us a show?"

"No sir Igor, she's my sister, and she's Elizabeth," The male sighed again.

"She is?" Igor blinked.

"Sir, I believe this is the third time we've told you that," Elizabeth groaned.

"Bollocks, this is the first time, I've heard of it," Igor said flatly. "Why am I always the last to know? Incompetent assistants." The siblings sighed in annoyance and exasperation. Igor turned his attention to Minato who had his head on the table.

"What brings this cute young lady to my casino?" Igor asked bluntly.

"SIR! You brought him here to discuss the contract, and this is the Velvet Room!" Theodore face-palmed hard, pointing at the contract that was lying on the table. Minato drifted to sleep but nobody paid it any real attention.

Igor opened the contract. "Minato Arisato..." He paused. "Can someone explain why there is a picture of a broken butt here?"

"Master Igor, that is an image of the heart, not someone's posterior," Elizabeth corrected.

"Silence. I recognize a butt when I see one," Igor insisted. "And this is a butt."

The three kept arguing, not caring for Minato who was still asleep. Nobody bothered to explain about what the contract was and what it meant. In the end, Minato was thrown out of the Velvet Room and was back in the real world.

... And there was this one key on the Velvet Room's table which had Minato's name tag on it.

* * *

**Wow, thanks for the many reviews guys, I guess I can consider that you'll like this fic. It's co-written by Raidou but like always, he has nothing to say. :/ Anyway, like I said different plot : Minato hasn't got the key, how in hell will he get into the velvet room now? Read and find out.**

**And yes, Igor is faaaaaar away from being the wise character he was in P3, he's senile and has a habit of bossing his assistants around.**

**Like always, please review and let us know what you think. Caio.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

Minato snored in his sleep.

"No... don't run away from me... I just want a huuug..."

He shifted on his bed, blissfully unaware (subconsciously denying) that it was a school day today. And unfortunately for him, Yukari was making her way towards his room.

Minato was still sleeping when Yukari kicked the door to his room open and starting yelling. "Get up, emo bitch, I don't wanna be lat-" She stopped midway and stared long and hard at Minato who was still sleeping.

"God damn, he looks hot asleep," Yukari muttered, sizing our protagonist. If her eyes had teeth, he'd be devoured, by now. "He looks retarded when he's awake though."

"Yukari-san," Minato muttered in his sleep but the female in question was able to hear it. Yukari went closer to Minato, who was still mumbling in his sleep.

"Please, say no to unprotected sex."

A vein propped up on the brunette's forehead.

"Get up!" Yukari rammed Minato onto the floor with a vicious glare. Poor Minato hit his head on the ground painfully hard, and he had no idea no idea as to what was going on.

Yukari sat on Minato's stomach and grabbed him by the collar. "You ain't getting any of me!" She began rocking him back and forth, yelling in his face. "Not in a million years you'll get into my pants! You might look hot when asleep but you are pure disappointment from the moment you open your eyes... which... are kinda hot tooBUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!"

Minato's head was spinning so badly that he couldn't make complete sense about what was happening to him. Someone was rocking him back and forth while talking about sex and stuff like that.

"I-I'm saving it for marriage," Minato mumbled, his head spinning.

Yukari laughed condescendingly, still shaking him. "Hahahaha! He says it like he'll ever get any in his lifetime."

Oh yeah, another level up for Yukari.

For the next ten minutes, Yukari kept yelling at Minato about how insignificant he was, but Minato really wasn't paying it any attention. He was actually hurt from the fall, and his mind wasn't thinking straight.

Until someone finally had enough and went over to see what the infernal racket was.

Who was it?

Mitsuru, of course.

The owner of everything stepped into Minato's her room. She rose an eyebrow at Minato on the floor, half asleep, with Yukari on top of him while grabbing a hold of his collar. Not to mention their faces were kinda close to each other.

"What is the meaning of th- oh, God, he looks hot when he's asleep." She noted.

"Yeah, I hope he is capable of having sex while asleep," Yukari nodded.

"WHAT?" Mitsuru widened her eyes.

Yukari realized what she had just said. She stood up and and splashed a glass of water over Poor Minato.

Our protagonist flapped like a fish and still, he couldn't see or make stuff out clearly. Poor Minato had suffered a concussion from the fall.

Yukari blinked, Minato was still half asleep and he still looked hot.

"Cannot unsee..." She muttered. Yukari took a step back and gulped. "I can't ogle an emo bitch like him, control yourself Yukari." The brunette begrudgingly walked out of his room.

"Persona or no persona, he is in MOSEES," Mitsuru nodded to herself. She ended up staring at Minato for more than 5 minutes, and after slapping a Kirijo Property stamp on his forehead, she forcefully dragged herself away. Who knows what she could have done?

Clumsily, Minato finally got up. He had no fucking idea where he was and who was sitting on him. All he knew was that he had to go to school. Minato limped over to his closet and dug out his uniform.

"Why is it as dark as my heart in here?" Minato muttered, rubbing his head. He ended up shrugging and donned the uniform over his sleep wear.

"Onwards," Minato staggered out of his room.

For some reason, Yukari wasn't there to knock him or make fun of him. Hell, even Mitsuru wasn't yelling that she owned him. It was weird but of course, Minato had no fucking idea what was going on.

Minato missed a step and fell down the stairs. He painfully landed on his head again, and let out a whimper.

"Ow... I deserved it. Stab me through the heart, next time," Minato muttered. He still stood up and walked towards the door. He tripped a couple of times, but defiant as ever, he made his way out of his dorm.

A silver haired dude was shadow boxing in the corner. He rose a brow at the stumbling junior and wondered. "Wonder why Takeba runs him down. He's pretty good looking, and dare I say he's hot..." The senior shook his head. "The Hell did I just think?" And he went back to punching the air.

Heads were turned when Minato walked into the crowds. Females and even males said he looked pretty hot. That was because Minato was still knocked out and half asleep. He was walking without a soul on sheer willpower.

Minato ended up tripping a couple of times again, and instead of walking towards the monorail, he turned left and headed right towards Shirakawa Boulevard. Even though he had no idea a place of that sort existed.

Mindlessly, Minato stumbled through the place, bumping into people or tripping occasionally. He finally ended up in a room which he thought was his homeroom. He threw his imaginary backpack onto the ground and sat on the bed next to someone.

And that someone was a cougar...

And her name was Isako Toriumi.

"Minato-kun?" Toriumi yelped, finding her hot new crush sitting beside her.

"Present," Minato mumbled, leaning back.

"What are you here for?"

"The usual, mam,"

"Really?" Toriumi nearly squealed. His hotness was multiplied for some reason.

"Of course, please let's not waste any time," Minato replied.

"So, uh... should I start from the top... or the bottom?" Toriumi asked.

She was talking about the book, right? Why would anyone start from the bottom of the book?

"Obviously Miss Toriumi, from the top."

Toriumi rubbed her hands together with a lustful grin. "Don't mind if I do.."

Toriumi spend a good half an hour on the... 'top'. Minato was so out of it by that point that he wasn't even feeling anything. The constant tripping made him high. He would just nod at times and Toriumi would think of that as an approval.

Just when Toriumi was about to work on his bottom... Some bell rang and Minato stood up, thinking school was out.

"Finally," Minato mumbled.

"Where are you going?" Toriumi clenched her fist.

"I'll be back tomorrow mam," Minato nodded.

"Promise?" Toriumi giggled.

"Of course," he answered. What a fun school day.

With that, our protagonist began his stumbling out of the room. He was smooched by quite a few more cougars since the place was full of them. But finally, he got out of the dreaded love hotel and made his way back towards his dorm. How he did that was absolutely fascinating.

Minato's face was full of lipstick marks and his neck had quite a few hickeys. Of course, he was oblivious as ever.

The near unconscious teenager opened the doors to the dorm and stepped in... and he tripped again.

"Welcome bac- HOLY!" Mitsuru dropped her novel on the ground and stared wide eyed at Minato.

"Is there a problem?" Minato asked with his half closed eyes, turning towards Mitsuru. Mitsuru saw the lipsticks on his cheeks and fumed.

"N-Nothing," Mitsuru clenched her teeth. He had even managed to lose her stamp along the way.

Minato nodded dumbly and made his way up the stairs.

Mitsuru was panting hard. She was totally pissed, but one thought somewhat calmed her down. "Technically, I own that lipstick... so those smooches are mine..."

Poor Mitsuru...

Miraculously, Minato finally landed on his bed. Tired and lost, our protagonist drifted to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Finally, the concussion began to heal and Minato started mumbling his usual depressed shtick during his sleep.

...

Meanwhile...

Yukari had been staring at the feed for over 30 minutes. She couldn't get over how hot Minato looked while he was sleeping, and how retarded he looked when he was awake.

"So, does he have the potential?" Ikutsuki asked, and this time he brought a clown.

"Potential or no potential, he'll be a part of my team," Mitsuru announced. "He looks like a dead fish normally, but he looks hot when he's sleeping. I wonder why..."

"I agree. Those shadows won't be killing themselves," Ikutsuki laughed.

The gigantic monitor began to beep. Mitsuru punched a few buttons and Akihiko's voice blared around the room.

"It's a huge one! He's on my tail! I'm coming!" He shouted, making both of the females panic...

... then snicker.

Then panic again.

"Well, finally, I was thinking he wasn't gonna show up," Ikutsuki sighed. Mitsuru was way too panicked to interrogate Ikutsuki at his point.

"So you're bringing it here?" Yukari shrieked.

Silence on the other end for more than a minute.

"No, Takeba. I'll be taking him to the movies... Ya dumb broad," Akihiko spat. "Get ready, I'm close..."

"Dammit," Mitsuru gritted her teeth and began to issue out orders. "Takeba, you head over to his room, wake him up, then escape," Yukari nodded, somewhat excitedly. She began to make her way out but Mitsuru shouted. "Don't try to do anything I don't pay you for, you got that?"

"You don't pay me for anything!" Yukari retorted.

"GO!" Mitsuru demanded.

Yukari's face twisted into a scowl. She ran away with an annoyed sigh. The brunette ran up the stairs, but a tremor shook the building and made her trip. She could also hear Mitsuru yelling at Akihiko. Yukari got up again and ran towards Minato's room.

Minato slowly woke up, his concussion finally faded and his usual emo-ish behavior back in full swing. Someone was knocking on his door. Why would someone do that, however, was beyond him.

"Why would anyone wanna see the empty shell that is me?" He sniffed, walking towards the door and turning the knob.

Yukari came running in, tackling Minato to the ground. Luckily, he didn't suffer a concussion this time.

"Quick, take off your pant-" Yukari stopped as she stared at Minato. His hotness was gone and his usual dead, sad and cringe worthy expression was back in place.

"... God damn you," Yukari muttered.

The building shook once again and both of the teens shrieked. Yukari shoved Minato away and made a run out of his room, yelling the whole while. "Go kill yourself emo, I'll be at the roof! No way a monster can climb up and kill me!"

"... You're right... I do deserve to die," Minato sighed, curling up on the floor as Yukari ran upstairs.

"Life it seems will faaaaade awaaay..." He sang as he rocked back and forth on the ground.

* * *

**Might be the last chapter for a while since my college is opening up again. :T But anyway, hope you enjoyed this. Yes, Minato is 'really hot' asleep. otherwise he has a really dead and sad expression that just pisses people off. And don't worry, Minato suffering concussions will be a running gag in the story. :P Please review, and if you guys like a crossover, check out disposable heroes which both of us wrote.**

**Thank you for the review and reads, hopefully we'll see you soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

Yukari stopped midway, remembering what Mitsuru ordered her. "Aww shit," She moaned.

"Why would senpai keep him here? His face looks like he's stuck forever in the friendzone, for fuck's sake... except he doesn't have any friends..."

And another level up for Takeba.

Yukari backtracked and begrudgingly stomped back to Minato's room.

She kicked the door open. "Get the he-"

She looked below to see Minato rocking back and forth, sucking on his thumb and singing "All Shall Fade".

Minato noticed her and sighed. "Would you like to spit on me or kick my ass?"

"Second option, really, I so wish I could," Yukari groaned. "I wanna punch you really hard, right now."

"Then again, you might break a nail and go into a hissy fit doing it..." Minato mumbled. "Actually, why don't you smile more? It'd be a nice break from your ugly bitchy side..."

Yukari let out a harpy screech from Hell and pounced on Minato. "You sad little virgin. You won't ever see me on top of you, never in a million years," She grabbed him by the collar again and began rocking him. "My perfect body is reserved for a prince charming. A God among men, do you hear me!?"

"When did Gekkoukan become Disney Land, then? I've never seen so many Prince Charmings in a single campus," Minato repeated sadly. "Besides, you're not even that hot... sucks to try being someone who you can't be. Trust me, I know it bites." Minato nodded to himself, before retreating into his depression again. "Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, I let my anger speak for a moment, and-"

Yukari growled lowly and her eyes flashed red.

"Son of a-"

But she was interrupted by another quake shaking the building.

Yukari shrieked. "It's coming closer. That damn thing is near."

Meanwhile, Minato was wondering. "For some reason, I totally can't feel my boxers..."

Yukari groaned and pulled Minato up and started dragging him away by his collar. The two went up several steps, passed by the command room, which would be safest place to hide in, but nope.

Yukari dragged Minato onto the roof and slammed the door shut.

"Phew, safe here," Yukari slowly slid down against the door.

"Don't you think that thing could climb up and..."

"Shut up emo, My calculations are never wrong," Yukari spat.

"Okay..." Minato said sadly, looking at the ground.

Yukari twitched. "I swear, you're the biggest pain in my ass since that double ended-" Yukari took a closer look at his face.

"... Hey, now you kinda remind me of that Okay Guy mem-"

A growl cut Yukari off.

"Goddammit, can I finish a fucking sentenc-"

She looked over to the side and saw a jet black hand holding onto the roof.

"Oh shit, its here!" Yukari stood up. She looked below at Minato and growled. "This is all your fault, asshole."

"I know," Minato curled up and began singing Last Resort.

A mass of limbs armed with dozens of swords and a blue mask climbed onto the roof.

Yukari gulped. "Crap baskets..."

"He seems so lonely..." Minato muttered. "Like me..."

Yukari panted and took a step back as the shadow took a step forward. She tried to pull something out of her thigh hostler, but two slashes later she was cursing Minato and dropping to the ground in pain.

Minato stepped in front of her.

"Coward! Think you are tough by hitti-"

The Shadow then looked directly at Minato.

"I mean you should kill me first..." He gulped.

The Shadow charged for our protagonist, who sighed. "This is it... Mother, father..." He took a deep breath. "Holy shit, I have to pee first!" The shadow aimed a thrust for Minato's heart, but he rolled to the side.

"Time out!" Minato cried.

The shadow aimed another thrust.

"I told you, never kill someone with a blad-" The sword missed Minato's forehead by mere inches and it ended up ripping a few strands of his hair off.

"..." Minato went speechless.

"Oh thank God," Yukari said cheerfully, even though she was bleeding to death. "That kinda makes him more bearable." Minato looked as dead as ever. "Slash his face off, too!"

Minato just stared lifelessly at his fallen strands of hair. He couldn't believe it...

Yukari blinked when she observed a flash of anger in Minato's eyes.

The shadow came closer for another strike but this time, Minato finally exploded.

"You fucking douche pickle!" Minato let out a roar, scaring the crap outta both Yukari and shadow. You just don't touch the protagonist's hair like that. "You sorry son of a bitch!" Our protagonist charged right for the monstrosity.

The Shadow sailed one of its swords forward towards Minato, but the teenager swiftly ducked and snatched the blade away. "Takebitch, close your eyes," He warned.

"Don't order me around, you sluuuuuuuuu-"

A slash of Minato's sword and splatter of ichor later.

"... My virgin eyes exposed to such horror..." she stated.

Minato was cussing various profanities at the Shadow, all the while ripping it apart slowly and with pleasure. "You picked the wrong house, foo'. Tryna step up to me in mah own crib, roll the fuck outta here with yo punk ass!"

"Is he speaking ghetto?" Yukari blinked. "Aw, shit that's hot."

"He's really giving that Shadow a pounding," Yukari noted. "Oooh yeah, shove your foot up his vagina!" Another level up!

Minato delivered a final blow to the Shadow, which dissolved into ichor and began to fade. The protagonist panted hard, a sick smile on his face. "Cowboy up, ya chanky little shit."

Minato turned around to face Yukari. "Ya want some of this, shorty?"He looked below." Yeah, that's right, you don't touch my hair. Motherfuc-" His eyes landed on some sort of silver gun right next to his feet.

And suddenly, Yukari let out a loud moan as Minato dropped the sword and slid to the ground. His badassery thrown out the window, the same "Okay guy" Expression sliding back into his features once again.

Minato cradled the blade in his palms and sniffed. "What have I done?" He looked at his hands, which were clean of blood but regardless, Minato began cussing himself out. "He had a lonely heart, like mine..."

"He was a fucking shadow," Yukari growled, still bleeding.

Minato looked over to Yukari. "Damn... they make diapers for this sorta stuff, you know?"

"Fuck you," Yukari spat.

Minato ignored her and looked at his ichor stained uniform. "I'm a monster..."

"I wish that gun was real," Yukari bashed her head on the concrete.

"And for my sins, I will pay the ultimate price," Minato picked the gun up, pressed the barrel of the gun to his forehead. "Farewell, Yukari-san!" Minato unloaded a bullet into his skull and shit hit the fan.

Blue mist and glass shards swirled around our protagonist who closed his eyes and muttered. "I'm coming..." Just behind Minato, a creature with a metallic body and an organic head appeared, it seemed just as sad and pathetic as our hero.

Minato turned around and whistled. "Sweet sleep, Minato, you're finally in the hands of a guardian ange-"

"... You're still alive," Yukari muttered. Minato swirled around to face her.

"Yeah, I'm just as stumped as you are," He stated.

She growled. "And your Persona suc-" Minato cut her off by a sharp scream, his Persona screamed as well, both of them feeling like something was ripping them apart.

Two hands came out from Orpheus' body and moments later, Orpheus exploded into a vile, blackened, gigantic dinosaur like creature which had several coffins linked to its back.

"Holy, your persona is on steroids!"

The new persona, death itself, looked over the battlefield. All it spotted was two teenagers, one was a crippled, nearly dead shell of a human while the other was bleeding on the ground.

"..."

"..."

"Y'all are bitches," Thanatos commented.

"We know," Minato nodded sadly.

"I am not a bitch, bitch!" Yukari snarled.

Thanatos then gave a piercing glare to the brunette.

"OhmyGodItotallyam, pleasedon'tkillme!" Yukari nodded furiously as she spoke.

With a primal roar, Thanatos disappeared into blue mist and Yukari finally got up. Minato sighed, another chance to die just passed him.

"Heavens, will I ever be released from this torment..."

Yukari finally had enough.

She grabbed the evoker and smashed it right on the back of Minato's head, making our hero drop onto the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"That shit was getting really old," Yukari sighed.

As the threat was finally over, the two seniors hurried up the stairs and came running onto the roof.

"Is he oka- Oh My Gosh, he's asleep," Mitsuru squealed.

"Yeah.." Yukari sighed dreamily.

Meanwhile, Akihiko observed Yukari who was caked in blood. "They make diapers for this sorta stuff, you know?."

"Kiss my ass, gramps," Yukari spat.

"Sure, sure." Akihiko dismissed Yukari. "Now, whoever loses cleans the floor 123NotIt!" Akihiko yelled as he raised his hand.

"Not it!" Mitsuru spoke.

"Not I- DAMMIT!" Yukari shouted.

* * *

**Welp, that's done. yes, Minato breaking outta his shell when his emo cut is in danger is another running gag, along with Yukari trying to level up her tough chick persona. One day I'll even make a list of running gags.**

**Remember, Minato has no fucking way of getting into the velvet room, what do you think will happen? Read and find out.**

**Anyway, like always, review and give us both you're thoughts. They make us very happy.**

**Later.**


	5. Chapter 5

-Velvet Room-

Elizabeth sighed exasperatedly. "Why isn't he here?" she asked no one in particular, as she supported her chin on her hands.

"I have no idea, sister," Theo rubbed his chin. "He's been out for a few days now, he should be here."

Something then came flying towards Theo. Something metallic that smashed onto his face. The attendant growled in frustration but he was silenced as he laid his eyes upon that object.

"This is..."

"Oh, Heavens," Elizabeth groaned.

"Bloody thing tried to engage in a staring contest with me for days!" Igor huffed. "It was mocking me!

"If this is here..." Theo calculated. "Oh, Philemon..."

"That douche nozzle!" Igor added in.

"No wonder our guest hasn't arrived yet," Elizabeth massaged her temples. "Perhaps we should TRY to spend more time in this room from now on."

Igor summoned his bone cell phone out of thin air and punched some numbers on it. "Demon Painter? I need you here right now. I have a bitch of an itch on my ass cheek. I need you to scratch it for me... the left one... Oh, to Hell with you, too," Igor threw the cell phone out on the floor.

"... Impossible, sister," Theo stated, looking towards Igor. "What in the world was Philemon-san thinking?"

"That prick!"

...

Minato was supposed to be somewhere, but he wasn't. Our hero laid in the hospital bed for over a week, running away from the scary blue door in his dreams and the voices in his head. He still had no idea what that thing he summoned by shooting himself in the head was.

On the 7th day, he regained consciousness in the hospital, clearly not changed. And just as he woke up he started cussing his existence once again.

Oh, and Yukari was next to him. Her mind was drifting off to places.

"Oh yeah, shorty wants some of that..." Yukari sighed dreamily, remembering Minato's badassery at the rooftop. If only he was that badass everyday, maybe Yukari would let him f-

She lowered her eyes and accidentally upon Minato, who was up, unbeknownst to her presence.

"Aw shit!" Yukari moaned. The image inside her head cracked into a million pieces just as she laid her eyes upon our protagonist.

"Shit, you're up..." Yukari groaned.

"I shouldn't," Minato muttered sadly. "I really, really shouldn't."

"Cut that crap, seriously!"

Minato rubbed his eyes and looked below in sadness.

A brief moment of silence occurred, as Yukari thought of something.

"One more word and I'll rip your bangs off," Yukari threatened.

And this activated Minato's Limit Break! He leveled Yukari with a glare, which (made her squeal with joy) struck fear on her.

"I KNOW you ain't tryin' to make me mad, right now! You touch my hair, and I'll rip your insides apart in a way you won't even have time to feel good about it, a'ight?!"

"..." Yukari liked everything except for the brutal part...

... Okay, maybe she liked the brutal part a little bit.

"Matter of fact, get yo bitch ass outta my sight before I backhand yo ass outta the window and call you Lucy In The Sky WithOUT Diamonds!" Minato thundered.

Minato stared at Yukari who had her mouth wide open for a couple of seconds.

... Just how horrible was he?

The Limit Break gauge depleted.

"I'm sorry," And the Okay guy expression slid back to his face. "What was I saying? I didn't mean any of that... forgive me, please."

"... huh? Yeah, that's right," Yukari nodded dumbly after (not entirely) snapping out of her stupor.

"Beside, I wouldn't bang you," Minato sighed. "A tragedy, really..."

Yeah, damn right, he wouldn'-

...

...

Was he saying she was not good enough for him?!

Yukari's eyes flashed red for two seconds, but the little conscience she had left told her that choking Minato wouldn't do any good.

She forcefully shrugged, stood up and and walked towards the door.

She stopped just as she reached the door, however.

She remembered that he was actually the one who saved her from that terrible monster. That could have meant the end of her right there and then. She felt like there was something she had to do before leaving the room.

"...Oh yeah," She turned around to face him. "Thank y-"

"..."

"..."

Silence.

Then she let his Okay face sink in and wash away her thankfulness.

"Actually, fuck you," Yukari actually spat on the ground and walked away.

Minato curled up on the bed and laid there for the whole day, wrapped up in his own thoughts and wallowing in Yukari's ungratefulness, until Mitsuru kicked the door down. She grabbed Minato (not by his hair) and dragged him away towards the dorm.

-Iwatodai Dorm-

Minato was surrounded by the rest of his dorm mates... and the dumbass who was wearing a crown.

Our hero was curled up against the sofa, sucking on his thumb. "... When a blind man criiies... loooord you know, there aaaaain't a sadder taaaale..." and only stopping for singing more depressive songs.

Akihiko squinted at him for a long time. "How do you function?"

"No idea... I wish I didn't function at all..." Minato sniffed.

"You're a grown ass man, stop sucking on your thumb," Akihiko groaned.

"Correction: I might be a hermaphrodite," Minato replied.

"Who said that?"

Minato pointed his finger at Yukari. "She did."

Akihiko turned around to face the brunette with a straight face. "...Bitch," he said.

"Dick!" She replied.

"Silence!" Mitsuru interrupted with a lioness' roar. She looked over to Minato. "To sum things up in one line: You wanna kill some stuff?"

"Not really," Minato mumbled. "I am already full of regret and angst..."

Oh he retorted? Such insolence...!

"Who do you think you are?" Mitsuru actually flipped the table. "I own you! I own your ass! I own his ass!" She pointed at Akihiko, who flipped Mitsuru off.

"I own his finger too!" Mitsuru commanded. "You will do what I say, AND when I say, because you are my bitch!"

Minato looked towards Mitsuru and just sniffed. "...I'm fate's bitch more than anything."

"YOU WILL JOIN ME!" She roared as she pointed her Evoker to his head.

"But-"

Mitsuru shot a bullet upwards at th ceiling. Apparently that was not an Evoker. "DO I LOOK LIKE I'M ASKING?!" Her eyes would have flashed red, if they weren't already crimson.

"Okay..." Minato looked below.

Yukari's eyes twitched.

"Alright, thank you for your comprehension. Since you have a persona, this evo-" Mitsuru was interrupted.

"... What the Hell's a persona?" Minato questioned.

Minato still had no idea what the fuck a persona was, but Mitsuru ignored his questions and opened a briefcase. "Regardles, welcome to MOSEES."

"Okay," Minato said.

Mitsuru twitched without letting the smile fade from her face. "It's called Mitsuru Owns Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad."

"...I didn't as-"

"SHUT UP!" Mitsuru yelled. "God, the only reason why you're even in this club is because you look hot when you're asleep."

Minato nodded, but stopped himself short. "Wait... were you actually watching me in my sleep through that camera in my room?"

Akihiko pitched in. "Oh, they totally wer-"

"No, we weren't." Mitsuru retorted.

"But you were monitorin-"

"Akihiko, what are your weaknesses, again?" Mitsuru closed her eyes with a sweet smile, and the temperature grew colder.

...

"No, they were-" Akihiko cleared his throat mid sentence, noticing his higher pitched tone. "No, they weren't," he finished.

"... better sleep with a condom on, though," Akihiko whispered to Minato.

Minato sized Mitsuru up and thought to himself.

If he had a child with Mitsuru... would the kid's hair be purple?

...

Minato would love to put that theory to test.

Time froze and the sound of glass breaking resonated in Minato's ear. He was freaked out, to say the least. Minato flailed his arms and ended up shattering the card that was in front of him, cancelling the social link.

"Holy shit, the window!" Minato shrieked.

Mitsuru looked towards Minato, then towards Ikutsuki. "Why do I own so many dumbasses?"

...

The next day, Minato walked towards school, sad and downtrodden as ever. After a boring day of classes, Junpei came walking to his desk.

"Sup, man-bitch?" Junpei greeted.

"Hello kind sir," Minato greeted back. "How are you this fine day? I'm shit."

"No kidding you're shit. You're also an emo fag." Junpei corrected.

"Yeah, little bit of that too," Minato lowered his gaze.

"What's up with that stupid hair of yours?" Junpei spat and Minato flinched slightly.

"What's stopping me from ripping those ridiculous looking bangs off?" Junpei sneered.

Minato looked Junpei dead in the eye. "Yo, do NOT even try to touch my hair, boy." He slowly nodded. "Or else I'm gonna kick you in the nuts so hard, you're gonna become a transex!"

Junpei wasn't scared in the slightest. "Pft, trying to act tough," He spat, reaching out to touch Minato's hair.

"Junpei, no!" Yukari came running to stop him but it was too late.

... Nah, Yukari had no intention of stopping Junpei, she just wanted to add some dramatic effect.

Junpei ended up pulling Minato's sacred blue hair and he paid dearly for it. Our protagonist released another roar that scared the crap outta the capped teen.

Yukari watched in horror (and delight) as Minato tackled Junpei to the ground and ended up beating the crap outta him.

"I told you," he punched Junpei. "Not to touch," he punched Junpei. "My bloody hair!" And again.

Yukari squealed, once again experiencing the epic badassery of Minato. Apparently he has a british accent, too, for some reason. The whole school gathered around to observe the spectacle, even the teachers, but for some reason, Miss Toriumi wasn't present.

Minato stood up and towered over Junpei's battered frame. He then picked Junpei up by the back of his collar, dragged him close to the window, positioned him facing the outside in all fours and proceed to kick him in between his legs with all his strength, actually sending him flying out of the window.

"...GOOOOAAAL!" Our hero roared back to the cheers of the crowd. They started cheering for Minato like he had just made the final score of the World Cup.

"Oh yeah, he lives in my dorm! We're total buddies and-" Yukari rambled on to her friends.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

The adrenaline rush diminished and Minato slowly went back to normal. Yukari face palmed hard as Minato normal expression slid back into his face.

"Um..." Minato gulped, looking at the crowd.

"I'm sorry...?" He muttered, hoping that the students would forgive him for his outburst.

Then the crowd to boo. The students began to throw eggs and tomatoes at Minato. He did not know where they came from, but he just stood there and took the flying food. He deserved it.

Minato sighed as the crowd disappeared. He turned around, walked over to the window and looked below, to see Junpei laying nigh unconscious on the ground.

"I'M SOOORRYY!" Minato so that Junpei could hear him.

The only response he got was the sound of Junpei sobbing loudly in an incredibly high pitched tone.

And he also got another egg thrown at his face.

"I just want a hug," Minato sniffed as he got away from the window.

Yukari was the only one standing in the classroom. She stared long and hard at Minato. "You're a moron."

"I know," Minato sniffed again. Slowly and with regret, Minato walked out of the class, only to be pulled into the principal's office.

Due to the violence Minato had committed, he was suspended until further notice.

And still, he had no freaking clue what a persona was.

* * *

**Phew, sorry this took a while, but I hope you enjoyed this. Next is the tartarus trip and still, Minato is clueless. Read and review, we'll see you soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

"Suspended!?" Mitsuru roared. "Do you any idea about the repercussions of your actions!?"

"I won't have school anymore...?" Minato replied.

"Shut your hole," she growled. "The headlines will read: Mitsuru's dorm-mate and property was suspended for unnecessary violence," She looked at the emo teenager dead in the eye. "Let me be clear on one point, it will be about me. All about me! Nothing about you, NOTHING!"

"I don't think so," he replied, making the redhead clench her fist. "It will be about a despicable emo bitch hybr-"

"He was cut off by Mitsuru grabbing him by the collar. "That's it!" she yelled as she pulled him closer. "One does not simply say no the ruler of all creation!"

"Wow... You must have more husbands than Yukari," Minato widened his eyes.

"GRR!" The furious Mitsuru tossed the junior over her shoulder and onto the ground below. Minato landed with his usual dead face and didn't even let out a gasp.

"She sighed. "What the hell are you?"

"I have no idea," Minato replied as he curled up again and began sucking on his thumb, singing his usual depressive songs.

"This will be a long night," Mitsuru crossed her arms and pinched her forehead.

"Hey, Takebitch?" Akihiko said as he walked into the dorm.

Oh, that son of a bicuit. "What!?" Yukari growled.

"Bring Minato here. Wake him up gently, alright?" he ordered.

She rose a brow at her senpai's kindness towards the blue haired teenager, but chose to shrug it off. The brunette stood up, cleared her throat and screamed at the top of her lungs.

"You bloated transvestite, get your sorry ass here!" she shouted, making Akihiko cringe.

"And now we wait..." Akihiko said as he began tapping his foot on the ground.

5 minutes later, Yukari couldn't wait for that worthless scum anymore. She stomped up the stairs, cussing various profanities at our protagonist. She arrived moments later, along with Minato. The brunette was holding onto blue haired sad sack by his collar. Akihiko cringed again. She sure looked pissed.

"I just want a hug..." Minato mumbled in his sleep.

"You ain't getting any!" the enraged girl hesitated a bit when she looked at his sleeping face, but eventually hurled our hero down the stairs, making Akihiko cringe once more.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." soon enough, Minato crashed on the ground with a thud. Luckily, he wasn't hit on the head, but he was still in pain.

"Thank you sir, may I have another?" Minato groaned.

Akihiko squinted at Yukari.

"You keep your mouth shut!" she growled, kicking the stairs in rage, which made her hop on her feet in pain.

Minato slowly got up, his body still hurting. Akihiko looked at his underclassman sadly and he returned it. The two ended up staring up at each, for entirely different reasons. Akihiko looked on with pity and some slight concern, while Minato on the other hand was his usual emo self.

Soon enough, Yukari came down the stairs, breaking the staring contest.

"What do you want?" she asked with an annoyed sigh.

"Oh yeah, there is something I wanna introduce," Akihiko snapped outta his stupor and walked over to the door. He poked his head out and yelled. "Come on, you're taking way too long!"

"Hold your horses, this is freaking heavy!" the voice replied.

"I could run laps around the island carrying that little baggage! Do you even lift, brah?" he rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm not a gym junkie on steroids like someone I know!" the voice retorted.

"The Hell did you say?!" he furiously stomped outside.

After some impact noises, groans and screams of pain, Akihiko stepped inside again to introduce the newest member.

He dragged the beaten and broken Junpei by the collar. Despite the pain, he entered the dorm (still in Akihiko's grasp) with a cheeky grin and his finger pistols.  
He looked as perverted as ever, only with a black eye and bruises all over.

"Alright, bring on the babes!" he cheered with a slightly slurred voice. "I'm ready for the chi-"

He stopped as he laid his eyes on our protagonist.

Junpei shivered and instinctively he crossed his legs in fear.

"What's wrong?" Akihiko asked.

"H-He..." Junpei shakily pointed his finger Minato, quivering at the memory.

"What about him?"

"He kicked me in the dick," he gulped.

Minato sniffed and began sucking his thumb once again.

"Pft, dick!? You have a vagina!" Yukari said, getting another level up.

"What about me?" Minato mumbled.

"You have a vagina too!" she smirked. Another level up.

"Leave the poor guy alone," Akihiko demanded.

"And you're totally trying to hit it," she rolled her eyes. Three levels in a row... she was on a roll, today.

"GRRR!" he growled at her snark. This time, his gray eyes flashed red and several veins propping up all over his body.

Yukari was scared speechless, she knew he was into steroids since he started boxing, was that finally messing up with his testosterone?

The gray haired boxer roared. "You! I'm about to rip your face off with my bare hands and glue it to my punching bag, you abhorrent bi-"

"Silence, my bitches, your master is here," Mitsuru came stomping down the stairs. Her presence seemed to have stopped Akihiko's transformation of sorts. He gave an annoyed sigh and just glared at the brunette.

The red haired heir of the world throne flashed her diamond ring and glared at each of her team mates. "Today, we'll be exploring Tartarus!"

"Tartarus? That sounds like toothpaste," Junpei mused aloud.

"Like the toothpaste that went into my eyes once," Minato sniffed. "The pain reached into my soul and made me cry."

Everyone looked at our protagonist, who sniffed again.

"You poor thing..." Akihiko muttered to himself.

Junpei was about to snark at our blue haired hero, but he remembered his beating from earlier and so he stopped.

Mitsuru sighed in annoyance. Everyione was doing that a lot, lately. "Just shut your holes. We'll meet in front of the school before 12. Get lost maggots, you all annoy me!"

And like Mitsuru ordered, MOSEES was in front of their school just before the clock could strike 12.

"Fraantic, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tock," Minato hummed.

"Shut it!" Yukari growled.

"Tick tock, tick tock," he kept counting the seconds, hoping something could appear outta nowhere and end his miserable life.

Yukari was about to stomp over and beat him senseless, but the clock finally hit 12, and the usual conditions of the hidden hour struck the world. The moon became a pale yellow, the usually gray city now had a green hue to it, and the air seemed a bit misty

Minato's eye twitched. His hair wouldn't be so neat and fluffy because of this fucking atmosphere.

The school began to bend, twist and turn into a monstrous green tower that reached up to the moon. The juniors looked up in shock. Even Minato couldn't believe that something so horrific and demonic could exist.

Is was unreal...

The only thing as twisted as this was his own heart.

And yes, it slowly made sense...

This dreaded tower was a representation of his twisted heart.

He could feel it...

And now, it was time to unleash his hidden fury, and take care of business.

Minato looked back at his team members with his rare badass smirk and aura. "It's time..."

"Woah," The rest looked on in awe.

"To wreck their shit," he said as he swaggered into the tower, never looking back.

The rest were struck speechless for a couple of seconds, but they eventually followed him, still in awe of his epic badassery.

Minato ignored the blue door at the side and turned around to yell at his team mates. "Drag yo sorry asses, ya fucking worthless sacks of manure."

"How dare you-" Mitsuru roared, but he roared back.

"Shut up shorty," he growled and the redhead went speechless. Deep down, she was proud of her creation.

"Let's head in and kick monkey ass," Minato smashed his knuckles together.

"Awww shit, he's so hot," Yukari sighed dreamily.

"Very well," Mitsuru cleared her throat. "This is Tartarus, the labyrinth that reveals itself during the dark hour." she pointed at the top of the stairs. "The dungeon begins from there."

"Dungeon? Is this some kind of RPG, or something?" Junpei questioned.

"Also, we'll appoint a leader," the owner of SEES spoke, ignoring the capped teenager. "The field leader, of course. I'm still in command of the team entirely, got that?"

"A leader?" Junpei grinned. "Me me, pick me!"

"Uh sorry to burst your bubble," no, Akihiko wasn't sorry in the slightest. " But we'll pick Minato," he said.

"I don't give a shit, let me just..." the protagonist frowned at the staircase. "take out the trash..."

"Woah," The rest oohed once again.

"B-But, why is he a leader? He doesn't look like one!" Junpei cried.

""It's simple really, Yukari doesn't really give a shit, and you're comic relief" Akihiko pointed out. He then put his two fingers next to his temple "Besides, can you two summon your persona like he can?"

And at that point, Minato turned around. "The fuck's a persona?"

Akihiko and Mitsuru were about to answer but, the blue haired ex-emo snapped. "Oh, wait, forgot to mention. I don't give a fuck!"

With that, our protagonist charged up the staircase. He just passed through the gigantic clock and disappeared.

"Awww shit," Akihiko groaned.

"Quick, grab your evokers and get inside!" Mitsuru commanded.

"Evokers? The Hell is that?" Junpei asked aloud.

"I forgot mine at my room!" Yukari cried.

"Ohhhh shit," Akihiko groaned. "I hope he's okay..."

And inside Tartarus... it wasn't anything short of horrific.

* * *

**Welp, there you have it, Minato is ready to kick ass... but for how long?**

**Like always, please review so we can get some motivation and all that jazz.**

**See you.**


	7. Chapter 7

"You forgot the evokers!?" Akihiko face-palmed. "Those things are essential for summoning your persona, dammit!"

"Hey! No one told me!" Junpei cried. "I don't even know what we're fighting against. You just pulled me inside the dorm and now we're here!"

"I don't really like using the Evoker for shooting myself," Yukari admitted. "I use it for..."

"We don't need to know what you do in private, Takeba," Akihiko nodded along.

Silence.

"Dick," Yukari spat. "Why am I even here!?"

"Silence. I own you, remember?" Mitsuru reminded the brunette.

"...Don't mind me, Imma just grab my stuff and leave. Excuse me please," Junpei began singing as he walked out of the lobby snapping his fingers to the beat. "Fuck this shit, I'm out."

"Argh, what the Hell. I'm going back to the dorm, too," Akihiko left.

"That makes you all bitches!" Level up. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Yukari left as well.

Mitsuru had half a mind to leave and maybe throw Minato's corpse into the forest the next day (saves her the money), but she was the only one with support utility.

"Gotta save my investment for the long term benefit," she said aloud, marching into Tartarus.

The floor was ravaged: pools of ichor, broken limbs, shattered masks, the works. A gander at the scene proved how strong her servant was. "... I should give management classes. That was a fine investment," she said, nodding to herself as she made her way towards the second floor where Minato was.

She stepped foot on the second floor and heard a shout. "Yo dawgs! Heard y'all like swords!" Apparently it came from Minato.

Another step forward, and a different voice spoke. Maybe it was a shadow. "Bring'em on, boy! Don't nobody need swords when we rockin' deez gunz!"

She kept walking forward, and the chatter continued. "I'm about to shove deez guns up your ass! Ragh!" And a swing could be heard, along with a sound that reminded a guillotine chopping a head off and a scream.

She rounded the corner and found the currently insane badass, holding a sword in one hand a stop sign in the other, surrounded by a horde of shadows.

Wait.

Where did that sign come from?

"Suck it!" Minato swung the stop sign and it crashed on a gigas' face, sending it flying towards another one of its kind. Both shadows crashed on a wall.

"Where in hell did you get that stop sign?!" Mitsuru fumed, crossing her arms. "That's private property. My property! I'll drag you to court and sue your pants off!"

Minato ignored her and kept fighting. He swung his sword this time, cleanly slashing through a tiara's mask, before he smashed his stop sign downwards onto a maya, turning it into mush. Well... dead mush. The sign bent due to the impact with the ground.

"Get better stop signs," Minato said, walking ahead.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Mitsuru yelled, running behind him.

"Stop following me around!"

"I own this tower, I can walk wherever I please!"

"You don't own shit!"

"I own you, pretty boy,"

"You're delusional," he said as he slapped her, before walking further ahead and rounding a corner.

Mitsuru stared baffled at him, then growled and clenched her fist as she put a hand to her cheek. How dare he?! How in the seven hells dare he?!

Minato found a horde of shadows crawling on the third floor and went to wreck their shit. A few swings of the sword and some profanities later, they were all gone.

Then he heard a voice and some steps coming his way. Some very quick steps.

Before he could see what it was, he ducked and heard the sound of a slash going right over his head.

He then raised his head to see a musha standing in front of him, with its sword at ready.

"1v1 me, nub!" it said.

"... Get rekt, m8!" Minato answered as he lunged forward, swinging his sword at the creature's neck.

His sword was parried upwards and the shadow brought its own weapon down on the boy's head, but our protagonist put his free hand up and caught the sword in his bare palm.

The shadow forced its blade down, but it was no use. Minato then used his own sword with one hand to slash the musha's leg, bringing it down to one knee before he cut the monster's armed hand clean off with a single swipe.

The blue haired demon wasn't about to stop. He thrust his sword into the shadow's chest, earning a loud scream of agony from it and stomp-kicked it in the face, knocking it down.

He went over the downed monster, holding its demonic sword on his hand. "GG wp," he said.

"Swordsman lvl?" the shadow asked.

"99," Minato answered.

"Nice, m8" were the musha's last words before it got its head chopped off by its own sword.

Mitsuru caught up just in time to watch the beheading.

When does the creation slap the creator?! Having enough of his disrespect, Mitsuru lunged at the blue haired teenager, tackling him to the ground.

"Do you have any idea of the crime you've committed?!" she demanded an answer, as they rolled across the floor.

"I don't give a chit!" Minato yelled.

The two teenagers rampaged around the floor, with Mitsuru doing most of the smacking. The shadows nearby instantly became distressed and scurried away. The owner of everything mounted on Minato and slapped him in the face twice before she got up and kicked him in the ribs, which made him roll to the side.

He got up and clutched his side. "Are you fucking crazy?!"

"I'm going to execute you!" Mitsuru roared as she rushed forward and kicked him in the chest, which made him crash into a wall. She then produced her rapier and rapidly slashed an 'M' on his chest, before she summoned Penthesilea right over Minato. The persona grabbed his head with one hand and lifted him off the ground while it cast a Bufula that wrapped his body in a layer of ice, which shattered to bits as it threw him chin first on to ground, sending him sliding back to Mitsuru. She stopped him under her high heeled boot and summoned the persona's rapier into her free hand, before she dealt a flurry of quick slashes at Minato's back with both swords.

He screamed all kind of obscenities under the Empress' foot and she tore into his flesh and found no strength to stand up after she was done cutting away, but that wasn't the end of it.

Mitsuru got her foot off of Minato and took some steps back as she began to encase her right leg in ice.

"Adieu," she said before she came running back and punted him in the face, sending him backflipping into the air.

He crashed on the ground with a thud as Mitsuru wiped her hair from in front of her eyes. Penthesilea's sword disappeared as she walked over to him and pointed her rapier to his neck. "Touche."

Just as she said so a siren rang out, signaling the Dark Hour was almost over. "Drat..." she cursed and picked Minato by his collar. "We gotta get out of here!"

"... fuck you..." he murmured.

She blinked.

Broken, beat, scarred and he was still defying his creator.

She had to admit, he deserved at least some respect.

"Maybe later," she said mindlessly. "Now we have to r-" and she was cut off, as dimensions ripped apart and other shit happened, reverting the school back to normal.

...

The two teenagers passed out and ended up somewhere inside the school.

With Mitsuru on top of the now unconscious blue haired boy.

She slowly opened her red eyes to see Minato under her. He was still wounded, but his face was so peaceful as he slept.

Dammit, he was cute while asleep.

Maybe she could use that opportunity...

She brought her face closer to his and-

A flash.

"Damn, senpai. Didn't know you were into that sort of kinky stuff," Junpei said, holding out his cellphone.

"Fifty Shades Of Kirijo, I guess," Akihiko added.

Loads and loads of student were looking at the heiress, holding back laughs and snickering. The two ended up right in the middle of the entrance, of all the luck.

At least she was on top of possibly the hottest student in all of Japan.

Or she would be, if she wasn't tackled off of him by a pink blur.

She skirmished with her assailant, but ended up on the bottom. "What did you do to him?! His virginity is mine!" Yukari said, mounted on Mitsuru.

"Holy shit!" Junpei roared in the back, then started recording with his cellphone. "Catfight!"

Soon, all the guys were chanting 'catfight'.

"He's all mine! You're mine! Everything is mine!"

Yukari slapped Mitsuru across the face. "He's mine! And mine alone!"

A slap sound could be heard from afar, but neither girl paid attention.

The heiress' eyes would have flashed red if, well, they weren't already red. "I'm going to execute-"

She was interrupted by Yukari being slapped to the side by something extremely quick.

She looked at the now unconscious brunette's cheek...

There was a suspension stamp glued to her face.

Oh, crap.

SLAP

Then she blacked out, unable to see Ekoda rick rolling, then moonwalking back into the faculty office's hall.

...

And three members of SEES ended up being dropouts... for the time being. Mitsuru, Minato and Yukari were sent packing back to the dorms.

Mitsuru woke up on the couch faced by Akihiko, who was wearing a headband for some reason. She felt that the suspension stamp was still glued to her face and tried to get it off.

"It's no use." the boxer said. "It's like some magical seal, glued to your face by a supernatural force. It also prevents you from entering school, for some reason. And I mean that literally."

She pinched her forehead due to a migraine. "How do you know that?"

"Well..."

...

-Gekkoukan Gate-

Akihiko was carrying the unconscious Mitsuru back to the dorm and had just left through the gate when a student called him from the entrance.

"Hey roid boy! Did your dick fall out yet?!" he mocked.

Akihiko's head turned 180 degrees. "Say that again?!" Some veins also popped on his neck.

"You got a stick so far up your ass, it's a wonder your feet touch the ground!" the student said.

Akihiko turned around and broke into a mad dash towards him...

But was stopped by an invisible wall.

He looked puzzled for a while, but then he saw that the suspension stamp on Mitsuru's cheek was glowing. He dropped the girl on the ground and resumed his chase, but the student was surprisingly not moving.

He got closer and closer and closer, and noticed that the student's grin only widened. He paid no mind, however, until he was within striking distance.

"You're dead!" Akihiko roared.

"Suspended, bitch!"

"Wha-" the boxer was interrupted by a palm thrust to his forehead, which rendered him unconscious. He was unable to see the student removing a mask and revealing himself to be Ekoda, who victory danced (Whipped and nae nae'd, more specifically) and backflipped into the school.

...

"So yeah," Akihiko removed his headband, revealing the suspension stamp. "We're on the same boat."

Mitsuru sighed. So much for a first trip on Tartarus. So many headaches to deal with. "Thanks for bringing me back. Just leave me alone, now."

"Okay," Akihiko said, then left to his room.

Now, the heiress could spend her time worrying about the damage to her reputation, the school floor that was left all bloodied, her perfect record that was now stained, and the videos that Iori was probably editing before uploading them to Youtube or adult sites, but she frankly wasn't in the mood for that. She wasn't in the mood to care about anything, to be honest. She just wanted to lay down and relax for a while.

Or she could relax in another way. She had nothing to lose, anyway.

She walked up the stairs and knocked on Minato's door. He answered, currently shirtless. He was probably trying to get the suspension stamp off his chest. She then pulled harshly on sacred blue bangs and his swagger erupted.

... And the social link went straight to 9.

* * *

**Raidou : #SuspensionSlap**

**MC : And we're back. Huge thanks to my co writer who did most of the work. *cough* abridged is back and our heroes are dropouts! Will they strike back at Ekoda? Will they give a shit about tartarus now? will they get back to school? Will you see what happened between Minato and Mitsuru in his room? Prolly not. :P  
Anyway, review, fuel and yada yada. See y'all later.**


	8. Chapter 8

The helpless blue emo and the fiery redheaded creator of everything were heading towards the lounge from the second floor. Mitsuru looked like she was about to puke, while Minato was... slightly uncomfortable? Or something like that.

"So..." Minato took a deep breath, scratching his crotch area. "What did you give me again?"

Mitsuru growled as her anger erupted. The heiress of the world kicked Minato right on his ass, sending him down the stairs in the most painful way possible. Thump, thump, thump and a thud. Minato landed right next to Yukari's feet.

"About time you bowed to the queen," Yukari said with a smirk.

"Bitch, please," Mitsuru stomped down the stairs. Offended beyond belief. "There is only one alpha female in this world, and you're looking at her!" Another cat fight seemed to be on the horizon, but the dorm's door slid open, revealing... a fucking student.

Junpei Iori came waltzing inside, a huge grin on his face. He sized up the three and said aloud. "**SCHOOL** was pretty fun today. Being a **STUDENT** is pretty hard but I guess **STUDIES** are important."

Yukari blinked.

Mitsuru twitched.

Minato cussed himself.

"Fucking Iori is a student," Mitsuru gave a vicious glare to the downed blunette, he was the root of all evil. "Did you hear that!? God damn Iori is a student!" She socked Minato on the face and began to choke him.

"Mitsuru Kirijo is suspended! All because of you, you sad, pitiful virgin scum!" Boy, Mitsuru sure like pummeling the helpless emo.

"... I was. You took mine a minute ago," He might be a living corpse, but Minato was always truthful. "And because of that, you are the biggest slut in the world."

Yukari started to snicker, until Minato faced her. "Yukari-san has competition, it seems. May the best..." He hung his head low. "Terribly sorry."

"GGGGRRR!" The two females began to pummel our hero once again as Junpei looked on, heartbroken. His stress reliving material was obviously out-dated now... how could Minato ever score with Mitsuru!? It didn't make any fucking sense.

The three teenagers rolled around, crashing into various furniture, destroying most the lounge as Junpei went upstairs.

Yukari and Mitsuru panted, looking down at the battered protagonist. Minato slowly stood up, his expression dead as ever. The females sighed, he suffered countless nut shots but that blasted expression didn't even change once.

They began to walk away, leaving him alone in the cold room. That is, until Mitsuru came running back and slapped him on the face, sending him to the floor again. "That's for taking advantage of me!" And she stomped off.

Minato curled up and began to suck on his thumb, singing depressive emo-ish songs. He didn't know why he got beaten, but he deserved it. He was out of this world, a vile creature that... he passed out because of the assault.

...

"THEO!"

"Yes sir?"

"I saw our guest empowering his bonds... it was steamy... go fuck him up," Igor commanded.

"Why would I do that?" Theo sighed.

Igor turned around with a frown. "Are you questioning me, Chet?"

"My name is Theodore!" The attendant sighed.

"Who is she?" He pointed at Elizabeth who looked bored out of her skull.

"She's my sister, Elizabeth. An assistant to you like I am," Theo explained.

"You both do look a like," Igor nodded, ordering Theo to move in closer and so he did. "Difference is, I'd totally do he-" The male stepped back and took a deep breath.

Igor was pleased, he pulled out his cell phone from thin air and began dialing random ass numbers for no reason.

Another random, lovely day in the Velvet Room which hadn't seen a guest for quite some time, despite the fucking contract lying on the table. The two siblings gazed at the hobbit who was enjoying himself, talking to someone by the name of Noriko Kashiwagi, whoever that is.

...

Junpei didn't come out of his room ever since the horrifying revelation.

"Emo asshole,"

"Blue haired creep,"

"Yes yes, I know..."

The members of MOSSES were bored outta their skulls, just laying pathetically around the lounge, doing nothing productive. There were occasional spats between Minato and the two females who hated him. Akihiko tried to defend the male but Mitsuru silenced him as well.

All four of them released a collective sigh and sunk deeper into the couches.

"... Did anyone catch that Ekoda moon-walking yesterday?" Akihiko said totally out of the blue.

"Ekoda..." Mitsuru repeated.

"That fucking worthless teacher," Yukari leveled up.

"He-" Minato tried to speak but Mitsuru snarled at him. The blue haired emo sniffed and went quiet again.

"Of course!" Mitsuru spoke up. "Ekoda has been plotting against us!" She shook her head. "No no, against me. You pathetic maggots don't have anything to begin with. He is after me, he wants to ruin my spotless reputation."

"... Bitch, the school saw you on top of..." Yukari pointed at Minato who was sucking his thumb. "This thing."

"Bitch, you fought her for him," Akihiko pointed out. "And his name is Minato, call him by his name."

"... Pull that needle outta your ass, roid monkey," Yukari spat, narrowing her eyes. "That is enough roids for today."

"You-" Akihiko was cut off as the Dark Hour occurred, throwing the world into hell.

Minato removed his thumb from his mouth and stood up, taking a deep breath and letting out small waves of his godly swagger. It was shit wrecking time. Minato slowly looked through the window, right for Tartarus.

"It's time..."

"WOAH!" The rest said in awe.

"To make them my bitches," He held his fist. "Fuck yeah! Time to split!" He ran past his teammates and into the streets, heading for Hell.

Mitsuru sighed dreamily. She didn't regret what happened in the morning. Yukari bit her lip. Maybe he could 'punish' her for what she did to him in the afternoon. The two females released another dreamy sigh and literally floated away, following our badass protagonist.

Worried for Minato, Akihiko stood up and followed them... Minato did look kinda hot there. What the fuck was he thinking!?

Due to some reason, despite having the ban, Minato ventured into Tartarus. Badass music played in the background as our hero gave a deep, hateful stare at the monstrous tower. Boy, things were going down.

The three idiots followed him, and surprise surprise, they could enter as well.

Minato looked behind and the two females straightened up, trying their best to look classy and cute. Akihiko gave a small smile.

"Let's go and spread out the name 'Minato'! He yelled. He shouldn't have said that.

Mitsuru fumed and stomped. "No, we will spread the name Mitsuru!"

"MINATO!"

"MITSURU!"

"MINATO!" Our badass protagonist got in her face.

"MITSURU!" The redhead vixen yelled back.

Akihiko was getting restless. He wanted in the action as well. And so he walked ahead and yelled at the both of them. "AKIHIKO!"

Yukari fumed. Were they ignoring her? Disrespectful virgins. She stomped over and yelled as well. "YUKARI!"

"Bitch, its on!" The four yelled in unison, getting into a real messy, nonsensical and totally insane battle royal. The four students kept pummeling one and other, moving slowly and slowly into Tartarus.

The first few floors of Tartarus began to quake under their combined might. And they weren't going to stop. How in hell were these guys a team? They pulled out their respective weapons and continued fighting, finally getting inside the labyrinth, totally accidental.

They destroyed the first floor and went above.

They demolished the second floor and went above again.

The third floor ended up shattering, and they were back to the second floor.

They kept fighting and went up again.

On the third floor, shit finally began to die down. Yukari collapsed. Akihiko for some fucking reason released a sigh and dropped down as well, leaving the two leaders standing.

The two continued battling, tramping both of the unconscious teens. Ouch.

Mitsuru finally backed away and dropped to her knees, leaving Minato the victor... despite the fact he was a redhead himself now.

Our protagonist prevailed and so he yelled his lungs out. "MINATO!" Mitsuru passed out as well after hearing that.

He kept walking, fearless as ever. He kept walking and walking until he met someone.

He had seen her before somewhere but he really didn't give a shit. She was hot and maybe the perfect match for our protagonist.

She bowed and introduced herself. "Elizabeth."

WHAT!?

Minato growled, taking it as another challenge. "MINATO!" He dashed ahead, sword in hand, aiming to deliver a majestic swing of his sword and-

It all came to an end when Elizabeth bitch-slapped Minato into unconsciousness. Picking him up with a sigh, Elizabeth went back into the Velvet Room.

...

"THEO!"

"Yes sir?" Theo replied, bashing his head repeatedly against the wall.

"Come here," Igor ordered and the attendant sighed and came closer.

"..."

"..."

"That is all!" Igor nodded.

"WHAT!?"

The door opened, revealing Elizabeth and their supposed guest, who was still knocked out.

"Sister, thank God!" Theodore cried. Leaving him alone with Igor had nearly drove him insane.

Elizabeth sighed and rested Minato against the chair, leaving him face to face with Igor.

The trio waited 5 minutes and Minato began to stir. He woke up, still a badass, luckily.

Igor took a deep breath and started. "Welcome to the Velvet Room!" Elizabeth perked up.

"My name is Igor," Theo smiled.

"I am delighted to make your acquaintance!" The siblings were smiling.

"..."

"THAT FUCKING DOES IT!" Minato yelled, socking the elf right on the face. He was wasting time. He had to get out and-

The two siblings cringed as Igor dropped unconscious. The Velvet Room began to shake, the furniture exploding and the floor cracking. Igor was important in keeping the Velvet Room stable, the reason why the two siblings had to bear with him.

But now, he was out and the Velvet Room was going to explode.

Elizabeth was busy strangling our protagonist as Theo tried to restrain her.

And the room exploded, sending Minato back to his room and Elizabeth and Theo... went God knows where.

Minato sighed and reverted back to his emo-ish ways as the Dark Hour finally ended. Curling up on his bed and singing songs was the only thing he could do now.

... Meanwhile, back in Tar-School!

Mitsuru woke up. Yukari woke up. Akihiko woke up, back in school, in front of every single student in the auditorium. They student body began to laugh out loud, among them was Junpei.

MOSEES was embarrassed beyond belief. They were sporting various bruises, torn up clothes and worst of all, they looked pathetic as fuck. Ekoda sneaked up behind them and suspended them for an even longer time. They picked the three up and tossed them out of the school.

Mitsuru slowly walked up the stairs as soon as she reached the door. Stopping next to Minato's room, she took a deep breath and cracked her knuckles. She needed to relieve stress and she knew the best way.  
She opened the door and went inside his room.

... And beat the ever loving crap out of our protagonist.

The ambulance arrived and all four of them were sent into the hospital.

... And the full moon was just around the corner.

* * *

**A couple of things to note.**

**Everyone hates the bleep outta each other and yet they're still a team.**

**Everyone except Junpei is banned from school till after the second full moon. **

**Liz and Theo are somewhere... in the real world and they're pissed af. **

**The Velvet Room is destroyed, who can fix this? Butterflies! **

**Everyone is severely injured and the full moon is just around the corner. They haven't explored Tartarus at all (no teleporter reached) Yes, the team going through something terrible everytime they go to Tartarus is a running gag. **

**Mitsuru abusing Minato is another running gag.**

**Igor is senile.  
Welp, hope you had fun reading this. Like always, do review. Later.  
**


	9. Chapter 9

"Give him a shock!"

"B-But Madam Kir-" The doctor was cut off by one angry redhead.

"Queen!"

"Excuse me?"

"Queen Mitsuru Kirijo," she balled her fist up before cackling madly. "Give that bastard a shock! Bastards love shocks!"

The doctor called her an idiot inside his mind and gave one bad shock to our dear protagonist, even though he merely passed out due to fatigue.

"More, more more!" Mitsuru kept laughing and the doctor had no choice but to punish the emo protagonist further.

All the shocks had one negative effect on Minato, namely, his emo cut spiked up.

"Hahahahah!" She kept laughing...

Until the doctor gave her a shock and she passed out on the floor herself.

"It's nothing personal... I don't like anybody, little lady." The doctor bashed her head with his cane and walked out.

...

...

"Quit looking at me, roid boy," Yukari yelled at Akihiko who had both of his arms in casts.

"I'm looking over at Minato," the boxer growled. "Shut yer trap!"

"Oh right right," she mocked, her waist tapped up because of the damage in the battle royal. "You still believe he has a vagina!"

"I'm gonna kick the sass out of your lips, and I don't mean t-" Akihiko was cut off by a loud yawn. Yukari smashed her head onto the bed and sighed. Fucking resident emo was up.

"Shh, shh, shh, Keep it down," Minato yawned as he stood up, strangely smoking a cigar and puffing out smoke. "Mate..." He puffed out smoke again as the two teenagers kept on watching in shock and awe (some levels of lust as well) "I don't swing that way."

Our protagonist was a completely new man. He was cool, he was snarky, he was an asshole. All thanks to the spiky hair.

He stood up and cringed. "Ah, shite!" He felt pain on his face, more specifically, his nose. It was cracked, probably due to Mitsuru's heels.

He took a deep breath.

"No, don't!" Akihiko cried out but Minato didn't listen and blew air outta his nose to somewhat ease the pain.

...

...

"Well... now this ain't right," the blue haired teen cussed out, not able to see out of his right eye because it was swollen shut.

"You idiot," Akihiko hurried over to him and made him sit on the bed. "You don't expel air out of your nose when its broken," he sighed. "It damages your eyes."

"Thanks, mate," Minato said, lighting up another cigar and giving it to him.

"Ain't that precious," Yukari sneered at the two males. "You can't kiss him like that, can you?"

"Don't dirty private property,"

"I'm not gonna clean the floor," the two males said in unison.

She scowled and was going to pummel both of them but since she was injured too, she just ended up flipping the two off and fell back on her bed.

Minato stood up and yawned, despite looking ugly as fuck due to his broken nose and swollen eye. "If you'll excuse, m'ladies, nature is calling me!" He declared, Shuffling and Freestepping out of the room.

"..."

"..."

Yukari hopped onto her feet and kicked Akihiko right on his injured arm, causing the boxer to yell out in pain... did he let out a moan as well? Regardless, she didn't care and went out of the room as well.

"Must... take... roids..." Akihiko breathed out, reaching for his bag of... certain tricks and treats.

...

"Taste me, you will see! More, is all you need!" Minato hummed as he waltzed around the hospital, whistling and winking at nearly every female there was. Some looked through his deformed face and smiled while some hurried into the restroom. Most of them however, called him ugly and told him to fuck off but that didn't hamper our protagonist at all.

"I'm every person, you need to be! I'm! The!" Minato kept singing and it attracted the attention of a certain redhead who was yelling at the staff for the charges they put for her and her team.

Mitsuru's red eye twitched as a familiar blue haired asshole kept singing and walking around like he owned the place.

"Cult! O-" he was interrupted by the owner of everything running over to him and turning him around. It was on, then.

After an hour of mindless quarreling, Minato's eyes fell onto her chest. He looked back at Mitsuru and grinned. "Don't tell me I saw these..."

"Grrr!" Mitsuru growled and was about to shut his other eye but thankfully, he swayed back to avoid the punch and ran away.

"Know your place, mongrel!" She yelled at him.

Minato stopped, turned around with a slight sneer. "You can't keep up with me, m'lady!"

She could keep up with everyone! "Oh why you!" Despite her sprained ankle, she chased after our protagonist all over the hospital. Trashing private property that she would undoubtedly pay for.

In the end, our heroes were kicked out of the hospital due to reckless attitude and flat out vandalism. Mitsuru nearly sobbed. Her perfect image was ruined the moment Minato stepped foot into Iwatodai.

She mauled him again and the team dragged themselves into the monorail... on a full moon.

"Get in!" Mitsuru yelled at his team of maggots. All of them seated themselves far away from each other.

Sighs were passed along and snark was thrown around, mostly from new Minato, at both of the females. He laughed along with Akihiko (who had one of his arm healed and buffed up) and smoked for a while, making the redhead nauseous.

"So, Mitsuru over there is part woman and part silicon!" Minato joked and laughed along with Akihiko. Luckily, no other sane passenger was on the monorail.

"I am part goddess, you fool!" Mitsuru fumed, clearly taking the insults too seriously.

He kept laughing, despite looking like he was going to die any second now.

Yukari was feeling ignored but she was thankful. She didn't want to bust any more brain cells over these fools.

"Where is Junpei?" Akihiko asked.

"He left me a text saying: 'Hahaha, I'm studying,' and then never replied," Minato shrugged, snuffing out the cigar. "Poor sucker will fail anyway so it really doesn't matter."

And the clock was close to midnight.

"Because of you!" Mitsuru fumed. "Mitsuru The Unburnt Mother Of Dragons Kirijo is suspended."

"I'm your stress reliever, baby!" Minato whistled again.

"Your dic-" The train lurched forward, thankfully stopping her from completing that. "A goddess!"

"Hahahahaha!" Minato heard it and kept rolling around on the ground, laughing his ass off. She was flustered beyond belief since everyone was snickering at her.

"Time to die!" Mitsuru pulled out a knife from her bra and her eyes flickered with vengeance. The bluenette stood up and crossed his legs.

"Hohoho, castration time," Yukari sneered at our hero who backed away.

The redhead took a step forward and Akihiko crashed underneath the seats.

"Now, toots," Minato gulped.

"We can do this the easy way," Mitsuru said with an insane smirk. "Pull your pan-" And then, the world was thrown into hell because of the Dark Hour.

The doors on the monorail shut close and the teens sighed in annoyance. Minato looked out and it was the full moon... huh, he remembered the snarky kid yelling at him about getting ready for the full moon but like always, he didn't care and kept cussing himself.

"Awww shit!" Akihiko stood up, gulping down something illegal.

"Welcome my darlings!" The voice made everyone of them want to smash their head onto the wall. It was that bad and horrifying. The fact that the user was trying to sound seductive was even worse.

"Drat!" Minato cringed, his hair still standing upright. "My manhood is gonna die!"

"Let me turn on..." HOLY SHIT! Minato smashed his head onto the wall after hearing that while the females just covered their years.

"MAKE IT GO AWAY!" Everyone of them yelled.

"Some music!" The voice came back and it was followed by some really inappropriate music.

"Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad~!" Everyone sighed. What the hell did they got themselves into!?

A from behind them, a horde of shadows were making their way to maul them. It was further worsened by the occasional moans coming from the first car.

MOSEES stood together, their backs facing each others and balls to the walls. They were injured, had no evokers and the only weapon that they had was a knife that Mitsuru pulled out of her bra.

Deep shit, indeed.

* * *

**Meet the new and improved Minato Arisato! Hahaha, his personality shifts with his hairstyle and right now, he's one snarky asshole. **

**Have I told you that SEES doesn't give a shit about the dark hour? Welp they don't, and this was the best way to force them into the full moon operation but the only thing they have got is a knife and no evokers plus... the shadow is sort of a pervert. Every full moon shadow is going to have a personality now, for the lolz.**

**Next chapter is the battle. We'll have something wild ready for you.**

**As always, review us your thoughts. Review makes people smile etc etc. **

**see ya later.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Gimme that titty knife!" Minato yelled, trying to snatch the blade away from Mitsuru's grip. The redhead growled and struggled back. It was her property, like everything else.

"Its origins are sacred!" Mitsuru cried, socking him on the face. "You will go blind!"

"I saw the place where that came from and I'm far from being blind. But you're free to try to turn me into Dare Devil any time you want!" Minato replied with a smirk on his face.

"Insolent peasant!" The redhead yelled back, trying to slap him on the face again.

The two battled for the sacred knife and the other two looked on in confusion.

"You got anything else in there?" Minato cried.

"Shut up!" Mitsuru kicked him in the nuts and snatched the knife away, earning a fist pump from Yukari and a wince from Akihiko.

But something weird happened.

After taking the kick, Minato simply up and collapsed, as if his power switch was hit.

And the confusion between the group grew. Except Akihiko's surprise and confusion looked more like fear and desperation.

"Minato!" He yelled as he made a run for the blue haired boy.

Noises could be heard from the next wagon, stopping Mitsuru from 'pocketing' the knife again and tensing Yukari up, who had half a mind to crawl and hide behind the older girl.

"Come on, man! Wake up, dammit!" Akihiko kept shaking Arisato, but nothing worked. He was out like a light.

"Leave this impudent dog be, Akihiko, look sharp!" Mitsuru ordered him, as Shadows came through the wagon's door.

Akihiko hung his head. There was no other way...

He fished around his pocket for one of his special pills and popped it in Minato's mouth.

Mitsuru was ready to ignore Akihiko and turn towards the Shadows, but as she spun on her heels, she felt the wind of someone running by her side and briefly caught the blue blur speeding up ahead of her.

Along with a mad laugh, she heard the blur say: "Watch and learn, motherfuckers!"

Minato rushed forward and jumped on the first Maya in range. He clawed into the live mush as the creature wailed in pain and torn a piece of it. He then threw the piece of Maya at a nearby Tiara like a snowball, successfully staggering it. He jumped from the Maya to the Tiara, pinning it to the ground, before he forcelly torn the mask off of its face and let it dissolve into ichor. He then turned towards a Beetle that was aiming a horn thrust at him and dodged the attack by hopping to the side.

To free his hands, he bit the Empress mask he had in his hand before he grabbed the beetle's horn and snapped it in half using his knee. He took the broken part of the horn and jammed it in what would be the creature's mouth, Emperor mask and all. The monster turned into a pool of ichor.

Nowhere nearly about to stop, he stepped on the Maya's mask and broke it, turning the already suffering Shadow into dead mush before he turned towards the second Tiara, which was readying a bufu attack at him. He dodged by jumping to the side, but the maneuver was not just a dodge. He kicked the train's bench to gain momentum and kicked the Tiara, knocking it down. He then picked the other Tiara's mask off of his mouth and began to beat the creature down with it, until it dissolved into a pulp.

Seeing that the horde of Shadows had been defeated, he gave another laugh. "Yeah!" He screamed as he slammed the mask he was holding in his hands on his own forehead with all his might to break it in half. "Angel Of Deaaath!" He screamed and banged his head a few times before moshing into the next wagon.

Leaving the other three stupefied teenagers behind, mouths agape.

"... Akihiko, what on Earth did you do to him...?" Mitsuru was the one to break the silence.

"I just gave him a little..." he started... but meh. "Never mind," he looked to the side, averting eye contact. "Let's just go."

Yukari, who was searching for an opportunity to snark and regain her lost vibe finally perked up. "Oh, don't worry, he just whispered that he'd be waiting at his room later to Minato," she said with a smirk.

Akihiko just looked at her with a blank face. "... Takeba... control dammit."

The girl blinked.

Shaking his head, Akihiko simply put a nearby 'slippery floor' sign near Yukari and rushed into the next wagon. Mitsuru just shrugged and followed after him, but briefly stopped to address Yukari.

"That thing about waiting in a room for Arisato... that will be you, won't it...? Oh, just forget I asked," she shook her head before resuming her advance.

Well, what could she do? That was awesome, dammit!

-Meanwhile, in the Hate Train's next wagon...-

Akihiko had caught up to Minato just in time to see Minato swinging a Gigas' severed leg like a baseball bat at some other Shadows while walking circles. They were quickly turned to dust as the blue haired devil's rampage went on. Mitsuru followed on through soon after.

The two seniors looked at each other. Their work was being done for them rather quickly, but the train was still moving forward. With Minato's pace, they might have been safer than they assumed. The redhead even considered giving Arisato her knife to speed things up, but decided against it.

"Pounding the world!" Minato yelled as he kicked open the door to the next wagon. "Like a battering ram!" It had been locked, but it wasn't enough to stop him.

Yukari noticed that the Priestess had gone quiet, which was weird. She caught up to the three and they just decided to follow the moshing teenager as he headbanged his way forward into the train.

She didn't find the will to throw snark around. Instead she just focused on the Minato as he wrecked the remaining Shadows on the train. The way he moved... the way he pounded away at the monster made her heart pound faster in her chest. The way he yelled those thrash metal lyrics as he did so... wasn't that attractive, to be honest. But he was still ranking pretty high in her list.

Oh, if he could always be like that... she would have no problem calling him hers. Maybe she'd feel a bit of Mitsuru's possessive joy.

Her thoughts were interrupted by something wrapping around her ankle.

When she looked down, she noticed that it was the Priestess's hair.

Her screams were drowned by the Shadow's screech as it lifted her up and hung her upside down. It seemed to be pissed.

"Takeba!" The two seniors exclaimed as they rushed in to help, but were stopped by someone coming from the emergency exit from above them.

It was Minato.

... But how? Wasn't he far ahead, already?

And when in the blue Hell did he get up there?

Without saying a word, he caught Yukari by the wrist and pulled her down, before outright biting at the Priestess' hair, in an attempt of tearing it apart. It less than worked, as the Shadow pulled its own hair back to itself, dragging Takeba by the ankle and Minato by the teeth, both of them skidding along the ground. The former screaming her lungs out. The seniors had to hop to each side to avoid being dragged along the two second years.

The two followed along the wagons, hurriedly pushing aside the remaining Shadows, until they got to the last one, finally met by a strange sight.

Yukari curled up in the corner, cowering away.

Minato standing in front of the Shadow, on a fighting stance different from the one they'd seen before.

The Priestess' shoulder was bleeding ichor from a strange wound, and more of the substance was forming a pool under the Shadow. Even more strangely, one of the metal bars in the wagon had been broken and a piece of it was missing. A rather big piece, actually.

When Minato turned around, there was... ichor on his lips...?

Then he fainted.

Akihiko rushed to help him as the Shadow released a screech.

"He... he made it bleed..." Yukari said from her corner, as Mitsuru parried a hair strike with her knife.

"... I think it was bleeding already," Akihiko nodded sagely, dodging the numerous strands of hair.

Yukari had half a mind to drag Minato's carcass from the fight but she decided against it. "Ah well," Yukari pulled out some cupcakes outta nowhere and watched the event as a harmless spectator.

"Be mine, you sons of bitches!" the shadow growled but ended up winking seductively at them.

"What the hell!?" Akihiko yelped, noticing the shadow was getting a little larger. "Is she growing!?"

The shadow now started crying.

Mitsuru blinked and stepped forward, only to get shoved away by the shadow's hair, which made the redhead crash into the window.

"You think you're hot shit, huh?" the shadow growled. "I got the size advantage."

"Wow, she mad," Yukari noted.

"Bleed for me! I'm all for gory org-" Akihiko charged ahead and punched the shadow in the face before it could finish the sentence.

"Just what did Minato do to her?!" Akihiko yelled.

"Bleed for me!" the shadow growled, launching several icicles for the teens.

"Not again!" Yukari yelled.

None of them could dodge and the teens ended up crashing to the ground in pain and the train only picked up speed.

"Holy Arnold on steroids!" the boxer panicked. "It's going to crash!"

"Then I get to play with you all!" the shadow squealed.

Utter silence prevailed and the teens exchanged horrified glances.

Mitsuru briefly pondered on stabbing herself with the knife and Akihiko nearly jumped out of the window but stopped himself because he had to defend Minato.

Yukari was noting every expression shift on the shadow. It was on a whirlwind of emotions but one thing caught her eye the most, her face whenever Akihiko got close to Minato. The brunette put her sassy chick persona aside and switched to a heroin. She stood tall, eyeing the shadow with festering vengeance.

"HEY!" Yukari ran ahead and kicked Akihiko right on the ass, making the boxer roll forward and ultimately crash on top of Minato who was still knocked out. The shadow stopped the next attack upon seeing Akihiko lying on top of the unconscious blunette.

"YOU!" Mitsuru blinked, where did Takea suddenly get all the courage? "Look at them!" she pointed to the two nearly dead males.

The shadow quivered out of excitement and Yukari smiled proudly.

"Where are you going with this?" Mitsuru questioned but got ignored.

"Fancy love hotel," Yukari said with a wink. "A waterbed and these two assholes sucking each others' faces." the shadow shook its head and Yukari panicked slightly. "With the right amount of tongue."

The Priestess sighed dreamily and the brunette continued.

Mitsuru nearly vomited because of the images forming inside of her vulnerable mind. She shook her head to see the shadow leaning back and described a rather disturbing male on male fantasy.

"... seems like you found a friend, Takeba," Mitsuru commented.

"Shut up," the brunette hissed back. "And then, the shower stops running and the blue asshole-"

Mitsuru blocked out the oncoming detail and slowly made her way towards the two grounded males. "I'm sorry Akihi-" she smirked. "Enjoy yourself you filthy virgin!" she forcefully grabbed a hold of the boxer's head and pressed his face onto Minato with a sick cackle.

Minato finally came to and flailed like a fish much like the boxer on top of him. Mitsuru was enjoying this but for a totally different reason than the two squealing on the other side of the car.

"Holy shit!" Minato struggled to break free but for some reason, Akihiko pressed him into the ground, petrifying the blue haired prick.

"HAHAHA!" Mitsuru laughed out loud.

The shadow sighed once again, it felt enlightened as the two males... did something. Hell, they even started rolling across the ground with Mitsuru onto them.

Yukari looked between the shadow and the pricks. It was her best chance. She controlled herself from doing something stupid and pulled out a short pistol from her own bra. The brunette was a little conflicted on killing a fellow fangirl but she was going to die and there was no way she was going out without leveling up to 100.

Yukari shuffled her way towards the enlightened being and shot the shadow on the face thrice and watched on as it withered away into nothingness.

"HAHAHA!" Mitsuru was still enjoying herself as she forced Akihiko on top of Minato once again but as soon as she witnessed the shadow disappearing into red/black mist, she let go and stood up, regaining her graceful demeanor.

"How did you?" Mitsuru questioned and Yukari shrugged.

"Yaoi fangirl," the brunette replied.

"Right..." Mitsuru questioned, kicking the two on the ribs with another cackle. "Filthy queers!"

Akihiko rolled away, somewhat horrified... but he kinda like blueberries. "What the fuck..." the boxer trailed off, looking away from Minato.

"You swing that way!?" Minato growled, bashing his fist on the table. "What about all the dreams I've had!? Who is going to take care of that?"

Mitsuru blinked and kicked Minato once again who rolled forward into the control room, smashed into the brakes and brought the train to a halt. Mitsuru blinked once again. "I nearly forgot about that..." she shrugged. "Ah well, saves me some money."

"... I totally forgot that we were going to die," Yukari added.

Mitsuru nodded knowingly. "With good reason..." she said. "... for you at least."

"Secondly, you had the gun the entire time?" Mitsuru eyed the pistol in her grip.

"I-I had a lot on my mind, alright?" she half shouted. None of them realized that the Dark Hour was over.

Akihiko had finally stood up after regaining control of his senses. "I ran outta signs." the brunette growled and shot him on the leg for his insolence.

"FREEZE!" a mature voice commanded the teens did so, looking ahead to see a couple of police officers making their way towards the group of teens. The head of the team took one good look at each teen. They had roids, guns and knives, not to mention all of them were injured with the monorail wrecked.

"Hey, we found another retard!" his assistant called as he dragged Minato out of the control room.

Mitsuru panicked. This wasn't happening...

"Foolish children!" the officer pulled out handcuffs. "You are all under arrest."

"My name is Mitsu-" a very familiar police officer dashed over to Mitsuru and knocked her out with another stamp. Ekoda moonwalked towards Yukari and knocked her out as well. Minato was out already and so he sent Akihiko into the realm of unconsciousness with a victory cheer. The rest of the police force watched on as Ekoda backflipped out of the monorail, leaving them alone with the knocked out teenagers.

"... Well, lock them in!" the head ordered and so our heroes were taken away.

They all woke up behind bars. Mitsuru was nearly drive insane while Yukari struggled... with something very complex.

"At least get me some blueberry, dammit!" Akihiko groaned.

Minato ended the night by puking his guts out.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, lost motivation due to less feedback but I planned on updating this once before college starts so here it is. The rating is changed to M and you can see why. Yes, every full moon shadow will have a gimmick and this time, it was a yaoi fangirl. **

**Thanks a ton to my co-author, he wrote most of the stuff.**

**Well, see you later. Review as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

"Curses, curses, curses, curses, curses!" Mitsuru yelled all the way to the dorm. The rest of the team wisely chose to walk behind her... except for Minato who was skating on the trail of ice that the redhead had left in her wake. She was that enraged.

"Uh, bro," Akihiko whispered but quickly shrunk back as the heiress looked over her shoulder and gave him a frosty glare. The boxer whimpered like his ass was on ice and quickly quieted down.

After kicking the door down, Kirijo stepped inside the dorm and walked up the stairs without a word. The rest stepped in shortly after and released a collective sigh, except for the snarky blue haired asshole.

"Yeah!" Minato yelled. "That was fun! I need to piss her off more often." Ice skating was the shit!

"Don't do it, man. Please, for all of us," Akihiko winced as he pulled out one of the many icicles stuck to his ass. "You never know when its that time of the month for her. She's already destructive enough."

Arisato thought for a while. "When did you get ice on your ass, though?"

"My persona is weak to ice, ironically... but it kinda makes sense, doesn't it?"

"Your per-what now, bruh?" The hell was a persona?

"A persona is-" Akihiko tried to explain, but...

What was that walking in front of the dorm's window? A cute chick?! "Ain't nobody time fo dat!" Minato exclaimed, interrupting his friend.

Mitsuru's high pitched, frustrated yell came from upstairs. It probably didn't sound as she'd like to make it sound, though, much for Arisato's amusement.

"... Errbody got time fo dat," the blue haired asshole snarked, whipping around. "Well, I might not be working as a dog catcher, but..." he faced the door. "I'm off..." the camera zoned to his face.

"To get..." closer.

"Some..." closer.

"Bitches!" finally, the camera went through a reset and he ran outta the dorm.

"..."

"..."

* * *

The employee sat in front of his boss' chair.

"What is it, my good man?" The older man asked.

"Um, sir, I'd like to ask for a raise in my paycheck."

"Why is that?"

"Aside from the obvious, I'm beginning to think my job is starting to become dangerous to my health... you see, I had to close in on Arisato's face, and my right eye began to bleed... Seriously."

"Oh... he's that ugly right now, isn't he?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry to ask this of you, but please... I love this job, but it's starting to take a toll on me. The things I had to film until now did a number on me, already."

"Alright... we have a deal."

The boss and the cameraman shook hands.

* * *

... he does realize that he looks uglier than a vagina on a freaking peri-"

"Shhhhh!" Akihiko hushed the female. "We don't want that kinda stuff on our PG district."

"..."

"... Ya dumb broad!" Yukari pulled out the same pistol from her bra and shot the boxer on his other leg. One middle finger later, she walked away, leaving the boxer alone.

He put another one of the special pills in his mouth. "Gotta restock this."

...

The headlines were going crazy. Mitsuru Kirijo and a couple of other morons spent the entire night locked up behind bars. It was unheard of! The daughter of Takeharu Kirijo was in jail. Next to her was an angry brunette with her bra hanging out, a roided up gym junkie with one good leg and a spiky haired fool who looked like he had dropped the soap too many times.

"Well, that happened," Minato didn't give a shit. He was young. This shit was expected to happen.

He spent the entire night the bar, getting smacked by girl after girl, further damaging his already bruised face. He returned to the dorm when it was nearly morning. Our hero stepped inside, high as Himalaya and still just as stupid as he left.

"I'm home!" he called. Everyone was already in the lounge since they obviously didn't have school tomorrow.

"Sup dude?" Akihiko greeted him.

"Just taking care of business," Minato nodded at him, lumbering his way towards the couches.

"Keep it up," the older teen gave him a thumbs up.

The girls growled at him.

"You know, I told him before, you look uglier than a vag-Beep on peri-Beep..." Yukari trailed off to a whisper. "Just what the hell are you doing!?"

"Beep!" Minato said. "Beep beep beep!"

"Shut up!"

"Beep!"

"What is the meaning of this!?" Mitsuru growled, infuriated by the constant racket.

"Beep beep beep!" Minato shrugged. "I'm just censoring shit here, ladies, because some people just swear too fucking much," he said. "Somebody better take some goddamn responsibility in this bitch, right, mah man?" he turned to Akihiko.

The redhead finally knocked him out by a hammer strike to his temple. Arisato stumbled forward and toppled over, finally drifting to sleep.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but..." she snarled at his sleeping form. "His previous gimmick was much much better."

"Unfuckwithable though," Yukari started and the two seniors whipped around to face her. "W-What?! Shut up!"

"..."

"... Well, then do it," Akihiko said nonchalantly.

"Over here!?" Takeba cried.

"... I meant to change his gimmick back."

"Do I have to pull a lever or something?"

The seniors faced the brunette once again. "Takeba, look, we try, alright, we try to clear that image of yours, but you're not really helping yourself, here," the male said.

"Ugh, whatever!" the irate brunette had enough for the night. She quickly walked away.

"Do it then," Akihiko repeated.

"I am not touching him," Mitsuru fumed. "I am not placing my hand on plebeian filth!"

"... Bitch, you slept with him during the first week!"

"What was that!?" Kirijo balled her fist up and Akihiko's ass immediately caught ice once again.

"I mean, good night!" The young man nodded, waved and limped his way towards his room.

Mitsuru had half a mind to drag her investment towards his room but right now, she was too pissed to act like a sensible business-woman. The empress stalked away, leaving our hero sleeping alone... for the moment.

Akihiko came downstairs when the coast was clear. He lifted his junior and slowly made his way up the stairs. The boxer finally made it to the end of the second floor, opened the door to Minato's room, commented on how it smelt nice and carefully rested the blue haired Fool on his bed.

...

...

Minato awakened a little too harshly as he felt a weight on his chest and something wrapped around his throat. Pair of hands, it wasn't the first time someone was trying to choke him to death however, it was Mitsuru or Yukari, it was another female, someone he had briefly met before.

"You wretched little devil!" Elizabeth growled, sitting on top of his chest. "How dare you sleep after doing that to us!?"

Minato forgot all about the pain in his throat because that chick was a bombshell. She was gorgeous. She was rare. She was feisty. She was wife material, she might be into necrophilia but that was okay, because she was out of the world beauti-

All those thoughts stopped when Elizabeth accidentally brushed his hair and Minato hit the limit.

The blue haired badass exploded out of her grip and Elizabeth backed away as her guest stared her down. "Wrong move, bitch!" he warned. "I've been breaking backs, getting bitches and shoving pride pills down people's throats since the first goddamn day of my life!"

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. Luckily, it was the Dark Hour so she could get as violent as she pleased.

"I'm gonna make you my wife," Minato said with swag. "You're gonna be mistress Arisato for the night."

"..."

Elizabeth didn't respond so the boy charged at her. Nobody had stopped him before, there was no one who could mess with the sacred blue hair, anyone who touched it would get maimed, no question about it and he was going to relish inflicting pai-

All that stopped when Elizabeth bitch-slapped the Fool to the side the room, making him crash against the sink, which crumbled to pieces.

"... Ow,"

Elizabeth cracked her knuckles and marched forward for some more payback but halted when she saw the expression on Minato's face.

"..."

"...

"H-Hey," Minato murmured.

Elizabeth went closer.

"... Add me on myspace?" he requested. It was probably due to the water but Minato's spiky hairstyle had morphed into his usual emo cut.

Our protagonist was back to his roots, the snarky blue haired douche was long gone, dismissed like it was a bad hair day and made a mental note to apologize to all the people he had insulted.

"This is unexpected," Elizabeth said. "Your personality seems to change with your hairstyle."

"I got no friends... Except Tom," Minato sniffed."Even he doesn't give a fuck anymore."

Elizabeth had half a mind to march over there and change his hairstyle once again to get rid of the mindbogglingly annoying gimmick he had right now but unfortunately for her, the Dark Hour ended and life returned to the world.

"Oh, Philemon," Elizabeth sounded disappointed. "It seems I have run out of time. Oh well, I, Elizabeth shall return one day experiment freely with the wonders of human hair."

"... Bitch, you ain't gonna touch em," Minato spat.

"We will see about that," Elizabeth hummed. "Since my brother and I have no place to stay, we will visit you often."

"... Does he have a myspace account?" he asked hopefully.

"... I believe the correct phrase would be," Elizabeth thought for a while. "You absolutely suck."

Minato sniffed. "I know," he watched on as the female disappeared into thin air.

Things were back to square one as Minato had lost all the snark and charisma. The sad teenager stood up and sniffed. "Leave me alone, why don't you..." he staggered towards his desk and sat his ass on the seat, booting up his laptop.

Minato opened his myspace profile and sighed. Not a single friend request, hell not even Tom replied to him anymore. Minato rested his chin on the desk and consoled himself. "They'll add me, I just know it." and so he waited.

...

Meanwhile, Mitsuru was lying on her diamond encrusted bed, with dozens of diamond darts at her side which she occasionally chucked at a photo of Minato on the other side of the room... and missed every time.

"I can't believe it," she went insane and threw every dart in the direction of the photo but still, it never hit the photo. "Aaaaargh!" the ruler of all let out a loud yell, extremely frustrated by what had happened.

Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her laptop, booted it up and logged onto the student forums. At times like this, she would browse the database and expel the student she thought looked stupid. She couldn't do that with Minato because he was already suspended.

...

...

The ruler of everything widened her eyes at some of the new topics in the student forum. "What is this...?" she wondered.

"HELP! I'm getting stalked by demons!"

"My clock gets stuck at 12!"

"Why is everyone dead!?"

"The time this was posted was..." Mitsuru blinked. "12..." How could that be!? how was that student posting in the Dark Hour?

"Could it be?" Maybe that student was all alone during the Dark Hour? Maybe that student needed help? Maybe he/she was dying and was reaching out to a hero to save him/her.

"Not enough hype to the premise," Mitsuru shrugged and kicked her laptop to the side. The redhead turned on her side and drifted to sleep.

...

...

The internet was getting out of hand. Students were far more engrossed in social media and porn sites than studying. It was disastrous for the generation and sadly, no one cared to set things right, except for one man...

That one man was the sword of righteousness in the darkness. He was going to save the generation and enlighten them because they had their heads way too far up their asses.

Ekoda stared down his current nemesis, the biggest modem in all of Iwatodai. That was the root of all evil. He didn't make a single sound and effortlessly committed the biggest crime in all of the city.

... He blew the modem up and departed quickly. No one caught wind of hero who disappeared in the night.

Soon, anarchy spread all over the student body in Iwatodai.

...

..

"My porn!" Junpei cried.

"My porn!" Yukari screamed.

"My pay per view!" Akihiko yelled.

"My transactions!" Mitsuru thrashed around her room.

However, Minato was smiling, because he had been enlightened. Someone had sent him a friend request on myspace! It was unheard of! He couldn't wait to see who it was. It could be a dog for all he cared, he was just so happy. He excitedly dragged the cursor over to check who it was.

He clicked and it started to load, and it loaded, and loaded and loaded, making the blue haired fool sweat profusely.

It kept loading, until...

'Service unavailable,' accompanied by a yellow exclamation mark on the bottom of his screen.

...

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

And so, internet-less days were ushered in by the savior, Ekoda.

* * *

**Raidou AN: Aaand the cameraman got a raise. Review y'all. **

**Nights AN : We're back with another chapter. Sorry this took a while but for some reason, we're kinda pumped to write the fuuka arc. Oh and if anyone reading is a wrestling fan, plz plz let us know because I think you'll enjoy the arc if you liked wrestling. And like always, do review. Later.**


	12. Chapter 12

"And then, it happened!" Junpei declared, balling his fist up and he told the horrors he had suffered to his dorm mates. The capped teen took a deep breath. "I just needed a goddamn second, one goddamn second and everything would have been fine, but no!"

".."

"..."

There was a tense moment of silence, the other three were wondering just what mental torture Junpei had gone through.

"The video had to stop at a close up of the guy's face!" he cried and the rest puked out in disgust.

"Goddamn!" Mitsuru clasped her mouth shut and glared at the junior. "Iori, what have you been doing with MY internet connection!?"

"... I pay the goddamn bill by mysel-"

"That money belongs to me, dammit!" Mitsuru yelled at him.

"In the past few months, I've been through hell. I've spent a night behind bars, lost zillions of yens, saw my perfect student image get smashed to bits, hell, I'm the number one on the list of pornstars and I didn't even know that until now!"

"Hehehe," Junpei laughed to himself, thankfully, he had saved the video beforehand.

"Ow..." Akihiko's ass caught ice once again and the temperature dropped several degrees as Mitsuru continued ranting, venting out weeks of frustrations that the heiress had endured.

"I will not stand for this!" Mitsuru swore. "Internet is my lifeblood, I will not rest until I've located the snob who did this to me!"

"To all of u-" Yukari tried to speak.

"Silence!" Mitsuru snapped again.

"Curses, curses, curses, curses!" Minato stomped down the stairs, despite his stupid emo-cut, he looked pissed, pissed than the rest had ever seen him before... at least in his current gimmick.

Yukari eyed his hairstyle and let out a sigh. "And you're back," she said dryly. "Who the hell brought you back?"

"..." Minato paused and thought back. "An incredibly sexy elevator attendant who refused to add me on MySpace-" that was painful, just mentioning MySpace reduced him to tears.

"Curses, curses, curses!" Minato bawled, stomping repeatedly on the ground. "You were so young..." he sniffed.

The rest exchanged glances with each other, only Akihiko looked like he gave a shit.

"I think he lost it," Mitsuru declared.

"Who the hell uses MySpace these days?" Junpei questioned. "Bitches are finer on Facebook."

"..."

"..."

"What!? They are," Junpei cried, defending himself from the female glares.

"Minato, are you okay, bro?" Akihiko asked worriedly as Minato had been facing the couch for the past ten minutes, muttering gibberish to himself. "You've been talking to yourself for the past couple of minutes."

"Yes, my friend," Minato nodded at the couch. "I would love a restroom selfie."

"WHAT!?"

"Quite," Minato nodded again. "I'll do anything in there to make you happy."

"... In the restroom?" Akihiko asked.

"You are correct, my dear friend," Minato nodded with a small smile, bowing slightly.

"..." Akihiko wisely backed away, this was a little too soo- "What the hell am I thinking!?"

"Who are you talking to, emo?" Yukari blinked, following his line of sight but there was no one on the couch.

"I will definitely add you once the internet comes back again," Minato said, indirectly answering Yukari's question.

"Oh..."

Junpei faced the couch this time. "If you're a dude, then get the fuck outta my property!" Uh-oh.

"YOU get the fuc-" Mitsuru was interrupted.

"You moron, can't you see it?" Yukari sighed. "That emo has created an imaginary friend."

"Let him talk in private, you dumb broad," Akihiko scolded, making Yukari roll her eyes.

"Seriously. He's ugly as hell, talks to imaginary people and now, he's back to his emo gimmick," Yukari threw his hands up. "One day, he's gonna die-"

"Get off the rag,"

"..." Yukari simply stomped away, going up the stairs.

"Hey, emo shit," Junpei called out to Minato who turned to face him.

"What's his name?"

Minato blinked. He hadn't thought of that. "Uh..."

"Yes, what is his name?" Mitsuru barged in as well, looking to humiliate Minato.

"Uh..." Minato looked back at the couch. "Whats your name?"

"..."

"..."

"Bitch!" a frustrated yell came from upstairs and that pretty much sealed the deal.

"Mr bitch!" Mitsuru announced, snickering. "Welcome to our dorm!"

"But uh-"

"Make yourself at home!"

"Hey, we shouldn't disrespect-" Akihiko was silenced by Mitsuru yet again.

And finally, the teens went to sleep... but deep down, they were still suffering. They needed exposure to a working internet connection and from the reports, it would take many months for the problem to be solved.

...

"Holy hell!"

"My c-c-cellphone! It got a signal!"

"Mine too!" the student looked around as the distance between them grew. "I see it, after it!"

"EH!?"

...

Minato got up from his bed, more depressed than usual. "Morning..." the Fool let out a sigh. "Bitch..." he wasn't even a good friend, how could he let people disrespect his friend like that? He was useless in just about everything.

Minato checked his phone and let out a sigh. "Still not working..."

"My porn!"

"My porn!"

"My pay per view!"

"MY INTERNET!"

Sighing once again, the blue haired protagonist went back to sleep.

...

"What you hiding there?"

"You got something in your bra, right?"

"EEP..."

"Let's use her,"

The other student rubbed his hands. "All of my yes."

"No, no!" she just couldn't fight back and soon enough, they took her away.

...

A vein popped up on Mitsuru's forehead as the relentless chatter only increased in volume and pity as time went on. The blue hair failure wouldn't stop talking ever since he lost a couple of his screws. The whole myspace friend request thing was driving him and her crazy but then again...

"I feel his pain," Mitsuru sighed, looking at the yellow exclamation mark on the lower right part of her screen. "... No internet..."

This was getting ridiculous, she was Mitsuru freaking Kirijo and yet here she was, in the same boat as plebian filth. She was different, dammit. She didn't need an internet connection, the internet connection NEEDED her. She was that awesome but yet...

"After you, Mr bitch," and he was coming downstairs.

"..." Mitsuru banged her head on the table and sighed once more.

...

"Hey, let's keep her here!"

"Why here?"

"Dude, this is literally the safest place to do this," his friend explained. "Nothing will go out and we can wash all the proof away."

"She can't scream for help here either,"

"It has been so long..." the male sniffed. "So freaking long... I might go crazy if I wait any longer."

"I understand man," his friend nodded. "And I am totally gonn-"

"Let me go you jabronies!" the female yelled, thrashing around. "I will stomp a mud-hole in your ass!"

"..." the males sweatdropped. Oh well, they would learn to tolerate that.

...

Akihiko was getting weaker as the days went by, he was seriously running low on his essential supplies and he couldn't just waltz in and buy that shit in public.

Meanwhile, the ladies were always 10 feet away from Junpei who looked like he was going to screw anything that moved around him, excluding...

Minato was holding up his cup of tea for the last 3 hours. "No please, after you..."

Mitsuru theorized that she would go crazy if Minato didn't cut out that crap, but then again, the only cure was a wi-fi connection which would take another 2-3 months. She could use the data connection of her mobile service provider but that was slow as fuck and lacked the charm.

"Dammit," everyone, sans Minato sighed in frustration.

...

But on a certain day, Junpei came back from the school, his face somewhat enlightened. He quickly called the rest into the lounge and explained the miracle, albeit short he just experienced.

"Obviously, you guys know WHAT a School is, right?" he asked, giving a smirk to Mitsuru who turned her head to the side.

"I hope so," Junpei continued. "But listen to this, I got..."

Everyone leaned in closer.

"..."

Minato finally stopped his imaginary conversation and edged closer as well.

"A yellow free signal!"

"KYAAAAA!" honestly, the dorm wasn't this lively in a long ass time. Minato began crying tears of joy, he would finally meet his long lost brother/sister/uncle/father, depending on the age/sex of his myspace friend.

"Where is it, Iori!?" Mitsuru yelled. "Get your ass to school and find out..."

Junpei scratched the back of his head as silence prevailed. "... You see, I yelled and then..." he removed his cap, revealing a suspension stamp. "Got suspended."

"..."

"..."

"... BITCH!" Yukari snapped, slapping him right on his mug, sending the capped teen to the floor. The brunette quickly stomped away once again. He got her hopes up for nothing.

...

"Oh yeah, there was a story about some chick going missing and well..." Junpei stopped as the redhead gave him the dagger look before walking away.

Meanwhile, Minato was trying to take a selfie.

Akihiko slapped his forehead hard, no improvement.

...

Yukari had finally used her phone data connection and it was slow as shit, not to mention expensive as much as her toe nail was... in her perspective at least. "UGH!" the brunette grunted in annoyance. The only thing decent was the school forums and she was forced to browse millions of love letters on the main page of the forums.

"... HELP?" that really broke the circle. "Help me." she read aloud.

"Demons and shit,"

"Green time."

"Someone scratch my back!" the hell?

Who the hell could post this on the student forum? even the time posted was a little dicey. Just at 12, the same time of the Dark Hour. Yukari ignored it and went to sleep.

...

"The hell did she go!?" the male yelled out in fear. "She's gone for like 2 days!"

"We locked the damn thing!"

"Oh, balls..."

"There goes our lifeblood,"

"... AGAIN."

...

"Fan-freaking-tastic," the teal haired girl sighed. "I'm back here again."

She didn't know where she was, didn't know how she got here but she wanted out. She booted up her cellphone and logged onto the student forums. She quickly type the biggest reward possible. "I got what you want. Stop ignoring me!"

And the full moon was right around the corner and the suspension time for MOSEES was at the end as well.

* * *

**Whew, and we're back. Exams kinda ragdolled me so I couldn't update for quite a while but I'm back... kinda. Just hilarious buildup and clues for the next chapter which will include the entire full moon. As always, please read and review. We'll see you later.**


	13. Chapter 13

Yukari actually brought a projector into the dorm and gathered the group in the lounge. Everyone was almost near death, they all seemed weary and tired, thirsting for internet. It had been weeks since the main modem was blown up, and data connection just didn't cut it. It couldn't stream porn movies. It couldn't stream pay-per-view. It wasn't fast enough for Mitsuru. And it certainly couldn't load myspace because the site was shit and old.

"I don't know, Mr Bitch," Minato shrugged. "Maybe Yukari signed with Brazzers."

Yukari was too excited to maul him so she kept doing her stuff and ignored Minato.

"Or Vivid..." he shrugged again.

Yukari still ignored her. She also ignored that Junpei was salivating.

"What are you doing?" Akihiko sighed.

"I'm saving your bum souls," Yukari snapped back as she finally connected the projector to her cell phone. She booted it up and everyone shielded their eyes from Yukari's rather... intense wallpaper involving men. "Uh..."

"They burn!" Junpei cried, the first porn he got to see was between guys.

Yukari hurried into the gallery and the team finally opened their eyes again. "Thank Arnold..." the boxer sighed.

"Alright, pay close attention," Yukari demanded. "This will blow your minds..." she opened the gallery and chaos erupted inside the dorm. Junpei pulled back, accidentally toppling the sofa backwards as several... intense photos burned into his psyche. He was scarred for life.

"Stop corrupting bitch!" Minato shouted. Yukari wasn't sure if he called her a bitch or was talking about his imaginary friend.

"Don't you dare make Akihiko pull out a sign over here, Takeba," Mitsuru growled, this was her dorm dammit, she wouldn't allow it.

The brunette hurriedly browsed through the photos which took 5 minutes because the content was in GBs. She finally found the screenshot and opened it up, enlarging the photo on the projector for the team to see.

"Open your eyes now, dammit!" Yukari spat. "Read the damn message."

Minato still kept his eyes shut. "Mr Bitch, we call this sexting..."

"Open your damn eyes!" the brunette lost her temper once again.

The team finally opened their eyes once more and indeed, there was no porn but a message... or rather the path to salvation. "I got what you want..." Mitsuru read aloud as her red eyes widened... was she talking about wi-fi?

Junpei widened his eyes as well and Minato started crying tears of joy, this was too good to be true.

"Arnold..." Akihiko whispered.

"Do you see, fools?" Yukari bragged. "I have found the solution. I will change your bum life and you can call me Queen Yu-" she stopped at the ruthless glare that Mitsuru sent her. "... We need to get to this modem..."

"Where is it!?" Akihiko had stood up by this point, and so did the two males. "Tell me where it is!"

"... That I don't know," Yukari replied. "But I know that one of will stop till we locate our modem, I certainly won't!"

"For our modem!" Mitsuru held her fist up and for the first time, the team was finally united, united for one single purpose, they were ready to investigate in every corner of the world to get to the godly modem, no matter what.

Junpei pulled his cap down and faced the team. "I know just where to start..." he nodded sagely, actually serious for once. The team blinked simultaneously, was he really starting to mature?

...

"My closet!?" Mitsuru growled like a pissed off lioness, Junpei had the audacity to suggest that he search her closet! a mere mortal trying to peek into the world of a goddess. "NO! Absolutely no! Get your ass outta my room."

"Senpai," Junpei looked her in the eye. "This is for our modem..."

"Why would our modem be in her closet?" Akihiko rolled his eyes.

"Senpai, that closet is the place to be for every damn student in the school," Junpei replied.

"... What about my closet?" Yukari stomped her feet but they ignored her.

Mitsuru actually agreed with him. "Yes, every student in the school knows my closet is the place to be," the redhead nodded. "Fine Iori, you may take a look, I know our modem is hiding in my closet."

Junpei rubbed his hands together and slowly opened the closet door, blinking rapidly so that he wouldn't go blind. He was real close to achieving his dream, he was going to spend a long ass time in there. The capped teen finally put his head inside and was surprised to see that the closet had automatic lightning. Junpei took in the scent, smelt like money and great porn.

"Oh my..." there was several golden figures side by side on the main display. Made out of pure gold.

Mitsuru on top of the world.

Mitsuru sitting on the throne.

Mitsuru with a whip which made him feel uneasy.

... And a huge ass figure of Mitsuru beating Minato to a pulp.

"Okay..." he blinked, moving away from the figures and looking below to see several drawers. He giggled like a kid and opened the first, immediately bloodying his own shirt because bras. "... Bless me."

Junpei shakily opened the second one and his body jerked slightly.

"... Akihiko sweat dropped, looking away from Junpei. "... He needs to change his pants..."

"Oh my, there are a couple of lacy ones too!" he cried, wiping his eyes clean. There was so much happiness, he could die right now with no regrets! But, at the very far end was a single drawer which was made out of pure gold. His mind went numb while he theorized what it could possibly. Maybe panties made out of pure gold? Bikini shots? The possibilities were endless but Junpei was sure it was fap-worthy.

He reached for the drawer as his body started to shake, maybe this was his answer to life.

"..."

and he opened it, revealing a whip with real diamonds and a strap on made up of pure gold. His pupils dilated as he stopped sniffing, looking at the two special items with rapidly blinking eyes.

... Junpei gulped, he didn't know whether to be shit terrified or listen to his hormones and turn gay for Mitsuru.

"What are you doing in there?" Mitsuru had grown irritated.

Junpei's body went limp due to the blizzard of emotions he was going through. "Huh..." Minato blinked, wonder what he saw?

"... He's out," Mitsuru fist pumped. "That's what you, bitch!" she thought about pulling him out but didn't want to touch him. "Uh... we'll leave him here." she ordered, walking off.

Junpei still had his head stuck in the closet and he didn't move an inch.

The rest of the team left him too.

...

"Modem, modem where you?" and so they begun the search and the first place they investigated was the public restroom. "Ugh, what are we even doing here?" Yukari snapped, disgusted by the place? what were they even doing here?

"Yes, Arisato," Mitsuru frowned at Minato who was trying to take a selfie. "What are we doing here?"

"I'm trying to take a selfie..." a vein popped up on Mitsuru's forehead. "But I can't seem to get a good angle..."

Mitsuru growled and grabbed the poor fool by his collar. She dragged him into the spare restroom, before locking the door shut.

"Kinky..." Yukari muttered.

Until she heard Minato gasping for air and Mitsuru laughing.

"Oh shit..."

Mitsuru kicked the door open and marched out of the public restroom.

"Ew..." and nobody touched Minato for the rest of the day.

...

They search a couple of more places and got kicked out of every single until Yukari finally got tired and went ahead to investigate the back of Port Island.

"I always question myself why I own this part of town..." Mitsuru mused aloud as the group entered the back alleys of Port Island. They'd never been to that part, but it was pretty easy to locate where they should head towards because the smell of danger guided them.

The smell of weed may have had something to do with it, as well.

They rounded a corner and witnessed some people sat on the stairs and trash cans about. Some were talking to each other, some were flirting, some were dealing drugs or trafficking cell phone chips with 3g connection... usual life in the fast lane.

"Well, so how do we get information out of them, now?" Minato asked aloud.

Mitsuru didn't even hear the question, as she'd already stepped forward and was tapping the shoulder of one of the punks who were there.

"Excuse me, do you know anything about a walking wifi modem? Green hair, about this height..."

The dude turned towards her with a scowl, then a grin so wide and evil, it was wacky. "Well, well, if it isn't the Kirijo bitch! You know what's my dream? To slap your pretty cheek and hear you say you're mine while I f-"

What was that she'd just heard?

What that guy said had transcended Mitsuru's understanding of the world.

How could he say that, when he was her property? How did his mind reach the paradigm that allowed him to even dream about her being hi-

... Her being hi-

She couldn't compute the thought. She became oblivious to everything and everyone around her as her mind delved deep into that thought.

She was the owner of everything. Everything belonged to her.

Could it be that she belonged to something?

Could it be that... she swallowed dryly.

Could it be that there was a world before she began existing?!

As her body entered the trance, the guy wound his hand up to make part of his dream come true. Minato tried to make a mad dash to help her, while Yukari stood there and didn't give a shit.

What they weren't expecting, however, was for something to fall from above, creating a wall of dust that blinded everyone's view for a brief moment.

After that dust subsided, the ones present there were able to witness what had saved the red haired heiress of the universe from an eminent... slap on the cheek from a guy she probably could have taken out on her own.

A single man rose above the fallen body of the would be assailant. A brave knight, shining under the moonlight, brandishing his most trusted baseball bat...

And wearing a studded leash on his neck.

His name was Junpei Iori!

"Thou!" The camera closed on him. "Shall Not Lay!" Again, closer. "Thine Filthy Hands!" Closer. " On Kirijo-hime!" he roared, loud enough for the wind to carry his word throughout the whole island and then Iwatodai.

Not unlike in a tokusatsu show, all the other mooks advanced and surrounded the new comer, but not before taking confused looks at the man who had just rained upon one of their kind.

Junpei looked dead in the eyes of the ones in front of him with a narrowed gaze and pointed his baseball bat at the front row. Taking the insult, they advanced, but Junpei only needed to spin around and hit one swing to send almost 10 of them flying, sparks flying from the impact. After they collided against a wall and writhed in pain, the others began attacking the hero.

After dodging a punch by ducking and a sweep by hopping, he swung his bat at the ribs of the dude that tried to attack his legs and began pushing him around using his bat, spinning and adding more mooks to the spiral of scrubs before he sent them all flying with a flaming swing that went against the momentum he had created, sending more punks into oblivion.

Without even turning to look back, he simply pointed his baseball bat to the sky, anti-airing one guy who jumped to try and get a back attack on him. The lowly enemy became "impaled" (not really, he just fell belly first on the bat) by the mighty weapon, which was brought down by our hero like a swagger stick, which sandwiched the mook between the bat and the ground.

He then revved his bat like a motorcycle engine, which sent flames through the weapon and ignited the downed foe, before he sent him flying at ten other wannabe gangsters with a golf swing.

"Who else wants a piece of justice?!" He yelled at the remaining punks.

Then loud footsteps could be heard. Even the epic fight was stopped because they ground began shaking as the presence got closer.

A few punks could be seen flying at the back of their pack, and the trail of destruction was heading towards the leashed hero.

One man burst forth from the crowd of g's and like a bolt of lightning, he hit a straight to Iori's face that sent him flying out of the alleyway like he was nothing.

After adjusting his beanie, the young man muttered. "And there goes my nap..." He then turned his attention towards the investigating trio, but more specifically to Mitsuru. "Oh, hey, Mitsuru. The hell are you doing here?"

She was still dumbstruck.

He snapped his fingers in front of her. Her eyes twitched back to life.

"Hey! Mitsuru! What Are You Doing Here!" He said each word at a time, hopefully she'd understand what he was saying.

"..." Mitsuru blinked once again as her senses returned. "I-I own this dump, I can do whatever I want."

Shinjiro's eye twitched, there she goes again. "Okay, okay, you own all the asses in the world." he said, stopping her from going on a huge rant.

"What do you punks want?" he spat, eyeing both Minato and Yukari... he didn't bother looking at the fool that he knocked out, he was out and would be for a long time.

"We are looking for a modem," Yukari replied.

"... You can get one from the hardware sto-" Shinjiro replied but the brunette cut in.

"Her name is Fuuka Yamaigshi, teal hair, less hotter than me," she explained.

Shinji's eye twitched once again. He took a deep breath, pulled out some pills from his pocket and gulped them down. "Fuuka, huh.." he took another deep breath.

"Mr Bitch would like to know as well..."

"... Who?" Shinji asked.

"My friend," Minato explained. "He added me on myspace..."

"..."

"Can you friend me as well?"

"..." Shinji pulled out the pills once again and gulped them down. "She's in the school..." he said, turning around.

"Hey Shinjiro!" Mitsuru yelled at him and the beanie clad teen ran off like a bat out of hell.

"Mr bitch says thank you!" Minato yelled at him too.

"..." Shinji kept running.

"Add me on myspace too!" Minato yelled again.

And they got their answer, their precious modem was in school! they didn't know jack shit about why she was there but decided to search the entire school first thing tomorrow. They didn't bother picking up Junpei and got back to the dorm. Tomorrow was a big day.

* * *

**Sorry! as you can see (read) this chapter didn't include the full moon, we're still thinking of hilarious ideas so it would have taken a while, in the meantime, enjoy the investigation. As always, do review and hope you enjoyed. **

**Later!**


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